Was the Weber Charcoal Barbcue
designed from the wreck of an alien spaceship at Roswell in 1947?
This fact has been kept hidden from the public for years!
Blue Aliens are just that, blue in colour, though the shade varies based on age. The rule of thumb is, the deeper the blue colour, the tougher the meat.No-one knows where they come from, but it's generally thought that they are the more docile of the edible species. Flesh is compared in texture to chicken, and most cuts are suitable for frying, grilling, and a good curry.
Greys are, naturally grey in colour, though they are as tall as blues. It is thought that they come from a colder planet than the blues. Their meat is generally tougher than blues, and also higher in cholesterol. Good for mincing for hamburger meat, although a wine based marinade will allow you to prepare a good stew or casserole. As their meat is tougher than Blues, more cooking time is needed.A famous recipe, first tried after Roswell, in 1947, was a Sage and Onion stuffing, which is said to have brought out some delicate flavours in the meat.
If you have seen a lizard, then you begin to have some idea about what a reptiloid looks like. Reptiloids evolved on a planet where the dinosaurs were not made extinct. Naturally, they have high intelligence (well, for a lizard, that is). They are roughly human size. Their meat has been generally described as similar to crocodile (to be expected), and their legs can be prepared in a similar fashion to the French cuisine "frogs legs", though typically, a single leg will feed a family of 6, generously.Another excellent preparation is to mince the meat, and make a "meatball" dish.
Reptiloid meat is the lowest in fat and cholesterol content, and is good for those with a heart condition
Hybrid Aliens are a controversial subject for eating, since they are generally the result of either alien impregnation experiments, or successful, mutually agreed mating between humans and aliens.My advice is to take it as read that they are neither alien nor human, however care must be taken before deciding if it is acceptable to eat a hybrid. I have no recipes for hybrids. Speculation as to their taste must be left to the imagination, though it is assumed that it would probably taste like a sweet pork.
There is no need to make the creature suffer unnecessarily, therefore such techniques as snares, rattraps, poisonings etc are extremely discouraged.
Bear in mind that the alien may become agitated and strike out. Don't let the creature bite you, or point a "death ray" at you. If you find yourself in this kind of situation, look at it this way: "It's either you, or it", so take whatever steps are necessary.
Various humane techniques for catching aliens include:
Good especially for Reptiloids, as their eyesight is not as good as other breeds. Dropping a net from above, or else a traditional "spring net trap" will be very effective. Bait the trap with either some raw meat from a mutilated cows anus, or else put a dummy of a human victim in the trap.
Lay a trail of "M & M's" or some such candy towards the trap, and the creature will blindly follow the trail.
Blankets and pillow covers are especially effective against Greys. The best way to use this method is to wait on top of your bedroom cupboard or closet at night. When the Grey Alien sneaks out of your closet to do unspeakable things to you, drop the blanket over the creature, and subdue it. If you don't have a blanket to spare, a pillow cover will suffice, as the alien will become quite docile when it's eyes are covered, which leads some researchers to beleive that greys are related to certain species of fowl.
Removing the skin is best performed after the creature is dead, or at least unconscious. There is a distinct lack of body hair in all 3 major breeds of alien, so there is no reason to scrub or score the skin.
Removing the skin is normally done to provide a leather utility or accessory. However, as we are concentrating on aliens as food, I shall not discuss this, and instead I suggest that you employ one of the web search engines on tanning, or indeed on alien leather accessories.
Steps to remove the skin, include a soaking in warm water to loosen the skin, making it easy to peel. However, in an emergency, an incision from the abdomen upwards to the sternum will provide a flap of skin, which then with liberal pulling, should allow you to peel the skin from your alien, rather like a "leatherjacket" (a fish, where the skin is removed by pulling, leaving the rich flesh, and the tail.