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Male Emotional Space | No Means No
Women deal with things by talking about them; men deal with them by not talking about them. This is why we hear so much about emotional traumas and domestic violence against women, and decades-old urban myths from other countries recycled to prove that women are being oppressed here and now, whereas we don't hear about the suffering of men. It is also easier to silence the few men who do speak, by ridiculing them. Reg Price of the Men's Rights Agency (MRA) has commented that having won their battles, most men will simply walk away, which is the best for them, but means that the MRA must fight the same battles over again.
Even when a man does express emotion, women are the first to criticise, typically greeting him with ridicule or condescension, or accusing him of "whining".
Men go to great lengths to carve out some emotional space for themselves, in which to deal with their own emotional issues; either pottering about in a workshop, hunting and fishing, playing computer games, or zoning out and pretending to watch sport on TV. Women are reluctant to allow a man emotional space per se: either they secretly think men don't really have emotions, or a woman thinks any emotions he has (and any free time) belong to her. The act of "drawing a man out" spoken of in womens' magazines is the emotional equivalent of marital rape. She feels entitled to use greater than usual force to extract from him things that he doesn't yet feel ready to discuss, and precisely because he has issues to deal with, he is vulnerable to her attack (and it is an attack) and less able to fend her off. Rather than subject himself to this violation, it is easier for men to wave away womens' probing with, "I'm watching the, er ... football."
It is especially hurtful to men, having been "drawn out" or voluntarily revealed emotions to women, to endure her anger if what he is feeling is the "wrong" emotion, or something she doesn't recognise as a valid emotion. The common accusation that a man is not "in touch with his feelings", usually means that she has made up her mind what he is feeling, or should be feeling, and will not accept that he is expressing something else. Sexual emotions are a common source of friction here, as women will dismiss his sexual feelings with "that's just sex; I want to know what you're feeling."
Feminists make use of male reluctance to express emotions, to interpret male actions in the way that most benefits women. Often, they put the worst possible spin on male behaviour. For example, "She wept and was comforted by friends as the verdict was read out" vs "He showed no emotion as the charges were read"; "A distraught mother seeks to be reuinited with her children", vs "a mans' grab for custody of his children is not an act of love, but a means of controlling his ex-partner"; "she lashed out in desparation" vs "his actions were cold and calculated".
Another example is the female tendency to criticize men who they see as being too quick to form a new relationship; considering that usually it is the woman who decides to terminate the relationship, it is hardly the female prerogative to decide how long a man should spend in mourning.
When a woman says "no", it should be respected as an absolute. Even if a man suspects the "no" may be qualified, he should take it at face value: drop her off home, never call her again, start dating other women. He is not dumping her; rather, if she says "no", she is obviously not interested in him. Otherwise, she would have said "not tonight, maybe another time", or "maybe later", or even just "slow down!". An unqualified "no" signals the end of the relationship. If she doesn't respect him enough to make her meaning clear, she doesn't respect him enough to form a relationship.