Gallows Humour

• Or would you prefer some clean jokes
• Or some novel answers to Why did the chicken cross the road
• Or hilarious subtitles from Hong Kong movies

What could be funnier than death ? Certainly it's tragic when it's close to you, but, as the one inevitable fact of life (some countries have no taxes), how can we avoid dealing with it by laughing ?

Expressions which mean "dead"

• Don the wooden suit
• Have a one-room flat with a lid
• Smell the violets from underneath
• Knocked off from work
• Gone to throw black lentils

Got any more ? Send 'em in.

The one about the Accountant, the Lawyer and the Engineer

An Accountant, a Laywer, and an Engineer were supervising construction work on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Accountant said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch I'm going to jump off this building."

The Lawyer opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too."

The Engineer opened his lunch and said, "Bologna again. If I get a bologna sandwich one more time I'm jumping too."

Next day - the Accountant opens his lunch box, sees corned beef and cabbage and jumps to his death. The Lawyer open his lunch, sees a burrito and jumps too. The Engineer opens his lunch, sees the bologna and jumps to his death also.

At the funeral - The Accountant's wife is weeping. She says, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage I never would have given it to him again!"

The Lawyer's wife also weeps and says "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much."

Everyone turned and stared at the Engineer's wife.

"Hey, don't look at me," she said, "He makes his own lunch!"

Please do NOT send stuff about

• Racial hatred
• Child sex
• high lavatory content (yuck !)
• and please NO BLONDE JOKES !
• 
  

That still leaves plenty of funny stuff .......

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