Moderately Dirty Jokes
Here's my all-time favourite cartoon. Since I can't draw,
it's a word picture ...
It's night. Imagine five young men staring out a window.
Fascinated, transfixed. They're also naked.
The floor of the room they're in is the scene of a drunken party (possibly
and orgy). It's strewn with bottles and upturned glasses and naked girls
and clothes and underwear. Some of the girls are tugging at the mens' arms
and legs.
One girl asks another "What IS it about fire engines ?"
Husband's excuses for successfully having sex only once every ten days ..... and his wife's replies
Riddles
Q: What is the difference between a pregnant women and
a lightbulb ?
A: You can unscrew a lightbulb.
Q: If fathers have Father's Day, and mothers have Mother's
Day, what do single guys have?
A: Palm Sunday.
Q: What is the difference between a nun and a naked woman
in a bathtub??
A: A nun has hope in her soul......
The word on the blackboard
One day when the teacher walked into the classroom, she
noticed that someone had written the word 'PENIS' (in tiny letters) on
the blackboard.
She scanned the class looking for a guilty face. Finding none, she rubbed
the word off and began class.
The next day, the word 'PENIS' was written on the board again. This time
it was written about halfway across the board. Again she looked around
in vain for the culprit, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.
Every morning for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the
same disgusting word written on theboard, each day's being larger than
the previous one, and each being rubbed off vigorously. At the end of the
second week, she walked in expecting to be greeted by the same word on
the board, but instead found the words:
"The more you rub it, the bigger it gets."
How can you tell when a woman has had a bad day?
Her tampon is behind her ear and she can't find her pen.......oooops
Two sperms are swiming when one stops and asks the other one, "is it still a long way to go to the ovaries cause I am knackered", the other one one replies, "well still quite a way to go, we only just passed the tonsils".
Two dicks decide to go see a film, once they arrive at the cinema, one asks the other, "what film shall we go see?", the other dick replies, yes that one called Striptease with Demi Moore.The other dick replies, u gotta be kidding, as if I want to watch a film standing up.
What Men
say...vs...what they mean
The Hitman and the Golfer
How
to get a hacker into bed (What to do when the chips are
down)
The Mailman's
Last Day
Three tests for the sailor
Englishman's week-end in Scotland
125 THINGS
NEVER TO SAY DURING SEX
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Women (and
what they actually
mean...)
10. I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing
geek in "Deliverance.")
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You are one jurassic geezer.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You are the ugliest dork I've
ever laid eyes upon.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (I don't want you spending the
whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I'm
seeing.)
6. I've got a boyfriend (who's really my male cat and a half gallon of
Ben and Jerry's).
5. I don't date men where I work. (Hey, bud, I wouldn't even date you if
you were in the same 'solar system', much less the same building.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (It's not me, it's you.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling
as my job is better than dating you.)
2. I'm celibate. (I've sworn off only the men like you.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by women (and what it actually
means) 1. Let's be friends. (I want you to stay around so I can tell you
in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.
It's that male perspective thing) _________________________________________________
Top 10 Rejection Lines Given By Men
(and what they actually mean...)
10. I think of you as a sister. (You're ugly.)
9. There's a slight difference in our ages. (You're ugly.)
8. I'm not attracted to you in 'that' way. (You're ugly.)
7. My life is too complicated right now. (You're ugly.)
6. I've got a girlfriend. (You're ugly.)
5. I don't date women where I work. (You're ugly.)
4. It's not you, it's me. (You're ugly.)
3. I'm concentrating on my career. (You're ugly.)
2. I'm celibate. (You're ugly.)
...and the number 1 rejection line given by men (and what it actually means)
1. Let's be friends. (You're sinfully ugly.)
(Guys : Wanna guess if the writer of that joke was male, or female ? Not hard to tell, is it ? Eh ?)
Know any good dirty jokes (not too
disgusting) ? Send 'em in, and I'll put 'em
on this page.
Please do NOT send stuff about
That still leaves plenty of funny stuff .......
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