Do you think cricket is

• boring
• silly
• pointless
• trivial ?

You're not alone ! Welcome to ...

The Anti-cricket page

Definitions of cricket

Chess, minus the intelligence

Even makes watching football look (mildly) interesting

"The English, not being a spiritual race, need cricket to give them some concept of eternity". This is a mis-quote of a ?18th century English Lord. Anyone who knows the original quote or the person's name, please tell me !

Things I'd rather do than watch cricket

• Visit to the Dentist

Anti-cricket jokes

Q: How do you make a cricket telecast interesting ?
A: Turn down the sound.
Q: How do you make a cricket telecast MORE interesting ?
A: Turn down the picture as well.
Q: And if you want it more interesting still ?
A: Change the channel, or turn the TV off.

Q: What do you call a bunch of cricket fans with laryngitis (loss of voice) ?
A #1: A big improvement.
A #2: Noise pollution under control.

Q: What is the difference between cricket and football ?
A: Football is slightly MORE interesting than watching grass grow.

Q: What is the difference between bashing your head against a brick wall and listening to talk about cricket ?
A: No difference. They're both great when they stop.

Q: What's the difference between a fanatic and a bore ?
A: A fanatic* is someone who can't change their mind and won't change the subject. A bore is someone whose chosen subject is cricket.
(*Acknowedgement to Winston Churchill for famous quote)

Q: What's the difference between watching test cricket and the test pattern ?
A #1: After a while, the test pattern starts to look interesting.
A #2: The test pattern is more colourful.
A #3: There is more movement in the test pattern.

Any good anti-cricket stuff you'd like to add ? Let me know, and I'll put it on this page, to give warmth and solace to the millions trying to survive life surrounded by sport-mad relatives/friends/colleagues.

Others who are like-minded ! Cricket is injurious to Nation -

Anyone who wishes to copy this format for any other kind of anti-sport page, be my guest !

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