John the Baptist, John the Edser and Winnie the Pooh
(What do they have in common? See page 8)

                             THINGS TO PONDER  

Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?
Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would you ever know?
Why do “fat chance” and “slim chance” mean the same things?
Why is it called “after dark” when it is really “after light”?
Why are “wise man” and “wise guy” opposites?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?
Why doesn’t glue stick to the inside of bottles?

MUSICAL TERMINOLOGY

THE B’s & C’s

Bar line: What musicians form after a concert.
Basso continuo:Game fishing after the season has ended.
Basso profundo: An opera about deep-sea fishing.
Brake drum: An instrument used to slow the tempo in an orchestra.
Bass clef: At the bottom of the hill.
Castanet: Italian fisherman do it.
Concerto grosso: A really bad performance.
Coral symphony: Written during Beethoven’s Caribbean period.
Cornetti trombosis: Disastrous entanglement of brass instruments that occurs when musicians exit stage carelessly.

YOUR HORORSCOPE
TAURUS April 19-May 19
Your clarity about what is wise and what is not is legendary, as your parole officer will attest. Others have gotten themselves in a terrible muddle about pivotal plans but you exceed others by far and you are unlikely to listen to even the most rational explanations. Don’t make any appointments on a day that ends in “y”. To make amends, work hard, pay your taxes and write your Mother every week, although even these simple tasks are beyond your weak-kneed ability. . You are superbly equipped to fail in all these endeavors, but as Annette Strunklemeyer says nothing ven-

 

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