Excerpts from the TV series “Hollywood Squares”

Q. “Do female frogs croak?” Paul Lynde “If you hold their little heads underwater long enough.”
Q. “If you are going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?”Charley Weaver “Three days of steady drinking should do it.”
Q. “According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party, and you think he’s attractive, is it okay to come right out and ask him if he’s married?”Rose Marie “No. Wait until morning.”
Q. “In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say I Love You?”Vincent Price “No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.”
Q. “What are “Do It”, “I Can Help”, and “I Can’t Get nough”. A George Gobel “I don’t know, but it’s coming from the next apartment.”
Q. “Charley, you’ve just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?”Charley Weaver “Of course not, I’m too busy growing strawberries.”
Q. “Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?”Marty Allen “Only after lights out”
Q. “If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?”A Paul Lynde “Whatever it is, it wouldn’t be afraid of the dark.”
Q. “While visiting China, your tour guide starts shouting Poo! Poo! Poo! What does it mean?”George Gobel “Cattle Crossing.”
Q. “When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for it’s sex?”A Charley Weaver “I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.”
Q. “Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?” Rose Marie “His feet.”
(Thanks to the Manbottle Library of Questionable Humor)

 

“My client wants to know the charge, your Honor.” “Thirty dollars or thirty days!” “Obviously you are not familiar with jurisprudence.” “Thirty bucks for her too!”