Crime on Earth


E.T. Hack
Chapter One





Shameer: he had a well-groomed moustache which looked like the result of extensive wind-tunnel testing. Shigeru: if this wretched Earth was really a potential threat to the rest of the galaxy, it was humans like him we would have to watch out for. Dwayne W. Trash : his display of guilty pleasure was guaranteed to pique any Dirtian's curiosity . Hortensia's ghost : the shimmering figure of an Earthwoman, of the same colour and luminosity as the moon...why had the president had her murdered? Lolita: She appeared to feel no guilt, only overwhelming desire.. She advanced on me, thrusting her breasts at me like battering rams .
Inmaculada: She was even paler than her sister Hortensia, but would be reborn as Princess Robot Trash and launched on a stellar career. Jean-Claude: 'Crime is inflicting vin ordinaire on a palate that was breastfed Veuve Cliquot...I committed the crime of the century just by being born. ' Nkere Ntanda Nkingi: He had a shaven head, almost bullet-shaped, and was the most aerodynamically efficient Earthling I had seen. Cyberpussy: She can't have been more than twenty terrestrial revolutions old, but she alone succeeded in hacking into Hack's fridge. Doctor X: 'They say that Doctor X distils death to its quintessence, and there is no glove tough enough to save you from his handshake.'