By Quentin
Dear gentle readers,
Let me tell you about a battle. A battle of good vs evil. For I have confronted the beast and triumphed. I abandoned the dark side of the 'force' when it was at its strongest. Read on if you are pure of heart and strong of stomach.
The track day was an epiphany! The opportunity to extend the car and myself in an environment free of men in blue uniforms holding hair dryers and on coming traffic. A chance to give it a big squirt and show what a clever boy I am.
My preparation was faultless. Polish car, black tyres and get a spiffy haircut. I left Canberra at 06:15 with pit crew (colleague Kevin) and arrived at the track at 07:30 after sticking EXACTLY to the speed limit (he wasn't in the pine trees this time..he was further up the highway in a ditch)
We grabbed a pit garage and secured the one alongside for Geoff and his 'Black Beast'. The organisers wished for all the 'good' cars to be housed together and I was concerned about Geoff being intimidated by all the flash E36/E46 M3 owners.
The black 525i arrived a few minutes later without wheel covers (hmmm he means business) and we headed off together to be scrutineered. The cars were safety checked, fluid leaks, tyres, brake lights, brake pedal, fire extinguisher, helmet, footwear (no synthetics), battery triangle (they would not believe the battery was under the seat) and taped lights (no busted glass on the track).
Back to the pits and pump up the tyres. I ran 40 front, 38 rear cold (235/45/17) as that worked well last time and mirrored what others run in similar spec cars. Geoff stuck with 40 all round (225/60/15).
Up to the control tower for a driver briefing which can be summarised as "no kicking, biting, scratching or kneeing in the balls and play nicely or we will black flag you and send you home in disgrace."
Out onto the track…1 warm up, lap 4 quick ones, 1 cool down lap and back in. Works well for road tyres…by lap 4 they have given their best. I was not happy after session 1. The car was very fast on the straight bits but a pig in the corners. I decided to seek the help of a higher authority and went and spoke to Dave. Dave had a racing suit and looked very impressive. He also had a Porsche GT2, an M3R and an Evo 7 Lancer.
"Wot sort of car is it" Said Dave.
"A humble 5 series, Sir" Said I.
"Is it an auto?"
"No Sir it is a manual with a nice wide grille"
"Well that’s ok then, yeah..I'll come with you...but I will tell you wot I think"
"Thank you sir and please be candid…..for I am a poor, humble man and used to verbal abuse"
I told Geoff who said "Beaudy…I'll follow you and copy your lines"
Here is the thing….The E34 with a sunroof has bugger all headroom. Factor in a 'stack hat' to the equation and you have to run with the seat on the floor and at a funny angle to get any headroom (note where my head is in the pics). This means that our sight lines are different and it is trickier to determine lines and apexes. Dave pointed out that I was turning in too early and could afford to leave my braking latter. Bingo! 3 seconds a lap quicker and it was smoother. I backed off on the main straight and LET Geoff past while Dave and I concentrated on braking for the rest of the session. It was heart-in-the-mouth stuff at the end of the main straight when Dave said:
"Wait for it....keep your boot into it....NOW.....push it hard....ease off....and drift her through"
And I did. And it was wonderful.
"Ok now turn 3....I want you to just dab the brakes a little as you turn in to settle the nose"
And I did and it was wonderful.
We had lunch…all us '5' guys and then it was into the afternoon sessions. I concentrated on improving my lines and braking and had a magic time.
Now to the bit you have all been waiting for. I had driven around this track before in 1:25 seconds with a stock engine and proceeded to lap at 1:25 through the course of the afternoon despite having an extra 30hp. The car was way faster down the (short) main straight. I was in 4th for 4 seconds instead of 2 and was 20kph faster at the braking point. The car was lovely and much more throttle responsive, which meant it was much easier to balance in the corners.
I made a commitment to my wife that I would not 'push' too hard and stuck to it. I was not prepared to maximise my times by punishing the brakes, tyres and suspension. Geoff, on the other hand, had made no such commitment and was prepared to give it all he had despite the fact that his wife is the prime custodian of the 525. I must say that Geoff's ability and skill impressed me. Jokes aside Geoff was 1.5 seconds a lap quicker than me and when you consider that I have more power and torque and wider, lower profile tyres he must have been braking and cornering right on the limit.
Well done mate. I think you are a 'gun driver' and have communicated this to your lovely wife who thanked me profusely and said that she would be making sure that you get all that you richly deserve over the course of the next few months. No need to thank me mate. That's what friends are for.
For all of you out there considering tracking your car my advice is 'give it a go'. It is a great feeling to put together a 'perfect' lap. Drifting our car around a sweeper after braking from over 100mph is quite a rush.
I am convinced that these kind of events make one a better driver and when all is said and done race tracks are for racing and roads are for commuting (except the mountain passes just South our here but that is another story).
I had a great day. Good cars and wonderful company. Someone summed up things rather nicely by saying:
"The 3 series go past with a loud BLAAAAAARRRT the 5 series go past just as quickly with a muted woosh"
Couldn’t have put it better myself.
The good vs evil battle I hear you ask?. That is easy. That was all about me sticking to my plan to not push too hard. It is very tempting to throw good intentions out the window when the 'red mist' comes down. I was pleased that I was able to keep my enthusiasm in line with my skill.
One tip. Do remove the battery triangle and the racing number before driving home. It helps avoid incidents such as this at stop signs :
"Hey nob head..wot's the 84 signify? Sperm count or IQ?"
Cheers
Quentin