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Yes, your wedding is a big deal.
But no, it is not the single most important event in the history of mankind, although I have certainly met some couples who acted like it was. There are plenty of people in the world with worse problems than whether or not you should upgrade your honeymoon booking from the continental to the deluxe-breakfast package.
So don't get too precious about your wedding. Remember that while your world may be revolving around your marriage, the rest of the world is not. And while I'm on a roll, I might also just mention this. Your friends and relatives will no doubt spend a few weeks celebrating with you. They will "have you over" and talk a lot about your plans and who proposed to whom and where are you going to live and do you have any thoughts about the reception and by the way have you seen our wedding photos?... blah, blah, blah....
But they have their own lives to live.
Don't fall into the trap of thinking that your wedding is going to be the centre-piece of conversation for the next several months.
There is nothing more boring than a couple who live under the misapprehension that their wedding is as important to everybody else, as it is to them.
I have been to some shocker, - repeat, shocker - , dinner parties where we're all sitting around laughing, talking, drinking red wine, generally enjoying the conversational ambience and each other's company... only to have it ruined by that soon-to-be-married-couple at the end of the table who haven't noticed that the rest of us have now heard enough of their twee little pre-marital anecdotes and our laughter is becoming more and more strained and polite.
No matter what is said, the entire world relates in some way to their wedding. For example, at one end of the table, Carrie the stockbroker is telling of how a business meeting went sour. She takes a sip of wine and continues, "You must be kidding, right? You can't do that to a client! I vowed that if those scumbags ever set foot in my office again that..."
But she never gets to finish...
Paul, the almost-married, chips in, "Speaking of vows, did you know that Carol and I are writing our own? Yes. We decided that the traditional love, honour and obey vows were too restrictive to fully express the depth of our love, so we..."
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The assembled group gulps wine awkwardly.
And then a few minutes later, Dave the dentist is telling the story about how he got a fine last week. Everybody is enthralled as he says, "I couldn't believe it. So I get this ticket for going through a STOP sign. I mean, I'd almost stopped, not quite, - you know - but the cop said that the car had to be completely stationary, so I said to him..."
At that point, Sally the almost-married interrupts, "Speaking of stationery, did you all know that our wedding invitations, name-plates and thank you cards are colour coordinated? Yes... (she leans in conspiratorially)... grey fleck with a gold embossing on 200gsm card... Mmmm, it's the best money can buy."
Boring.
Actually, on second thought, there is one thing more boring than an almost-married couple... and that's a couple who've just had their first baby.
Now, they're boring! ("And then in the thirteenth hour, Julie's perineum started to tear. Eighteen stitches it took! You should have seen the blood...")
And now that I come to think of it, there's also friends who've just come back from a five week overseas jaunt... they're boring too. ("When I took this photo of this coffee shop, this little old man came out and asked us if we'd like to see his cheese collection, so we went in and...)
So the next time a colleague says, "How are the wedding plans coming along?" remember they are just being polite.
Don't get out your personal organiser and give them a run-down on your wedding budget.
Just say, "Fine," and move on.
Taken from "So You're Going to be a Husband"
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