Limericks.

An amoeba who wanted to hide

ate diatoms, and so multiplied.

He ate and he ate

till his number was great

and he crowded himself off the slide.

 

Two irrepressible cranks

believed they were in a phalanx;

they waved swords and shields

as they roamed round the fields

repelling police at their flanks.

 

A teacher from Heidelberg High

attempted to memorize .

The electrical drain

on the cells of his brain

made the skin on his scalp start to fry.

 

There was a young man in disguise

who had fluorescent green eyes.

By the light of the sun

he could charm anyone,

but by moonlight he caused some surprise.

 

In the mind of a well-known psychotic

The affairs of the world seemed chaotic.

His only release

was in watching wild geese

whose song he found sweet and hypnotic.

 

There was a financier named Cutter

who invested his goods on a flutter.

He used all his knowledge

of Commerce, from college.

That's him, picking fags from the gutter.

 

There once was a loafer named Hamlet

who managed to finish damn lit-

tle; except for Polonius,

two escorts felonious,

Laertes, Claudius, Gertrude, et cet.

 

There was a young fellow named Chalmers

whom not many people are calm as.

He said as he stirred,

"You may think this absurd,

but would someone chase off these embalmers?"