Ballad of Burglar Bob.

Burglar Bob, while on the job

cracking a safe with TNT,

removed a wall from someon's hall,

and ran away with $1.03


He hid next door on the fifteenth floor

and heard a wailing cry go up.

A little girl with golden curl,

together with her little pup,


had fallen in a money bin

(which poorer people call a safe),

and now she faced three days encased,

which waiting time must surely chafe!


Revived with water, weeping "Daughter!",

Daddy promises the mint

to any churl who'll save his girl.

He'll keep rewarding without stint.


Our hero cannot help but hear,

remembers Jimmy Valentine.

He rushes through the hapless few

who stand around and bleat and whine.


"I'll save your daughter! Though I oughter

hide myself from mortal view."

But father wails, "You'll have your prize!

I'll push your pardon through!

Forget your past and just work fast,

then start your life anew!"

The burglar's heart near breaks apart.

He wants the money too!


He sets his tools and follows rules

known never yet to fail.

He does up screws, than lights the fuse,

and hustles off the father pale.


The safe was rent, the contents sent

around the room in all directions;

and all around them on the ground

fell dog, and girl, and safe, in sections.


So bits of pup and girl mixed up

were buried in the garden

(since no one knew which part was who).

The burglar didn't get his pardon.