Cartoon website created by Alen Flag
Course 1# (Windows 95): The appertizer
It comes in really late, but it tastes pretty good. You are mildly satisfied.
Course 2# (Windows NT): The soup
You hear that the soup will be made from the freshest ingredients and prepared by the finest chefs. But in the end it looks like some cheap soup from a can.
Course 3# (Windows 98): Salad
The waiter brings you the salad and you look at it and its filled with grease, you look at the salad fork and it has a bunch of ads on it. It also has some string in it, when you ask the waiter for a refund he tells you that the string is integrated into the salad.
Course 4# (Windows 2000): The Soup
The waiter brings you soup again this time it looks exactly the same as the previous soup you wonder why the waiter brung you this anyways.
Course 5# (Windows XP): The Meatloaf
You notice that the meatloaf has a large chunk of fat in it that really doesn't add much taste. You also notice that there are hairs in it. But you eat it anyways because it looks better than all of the other courses. You notice that after 5 minutes it turns ice cold and froze and can no longer be consumed.
Course 6# (Windows Vista): After dinner mint
You unwrap the mint and it is all melted and think about not eating it but you do anyways. You notice that the mint tastes like Moldy shoes and you spit it out.
After Dinner:
After dinner you feel sick and you don't know why you went into the restaurant in the first place. You think you will try a different restaurant next time. Probably the Linux or Macosx restuarant next door.
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I'm mad as hell with Microsoft. They may make a good product as far as Windows (as if there was any other place to go) but the Microsoft Network Customer Support is the worst I have ever seen in my life. I bought a new computer for Mom (who is 80 years young) and she got the $400.00 off to join MSN, that's the Microsoft Network. I thought that it couldn't hurt because she was needing a new ISP any way. Well I went and installed the MSN software got the local numbers went online. To this point there was a smile on my face. I opened up her mail and went to addresses, an error message popped up. The message read "The contact could not be created. The Hotmail service is temporarily unavailable. We are doing everything we can to get this service back online." I was under the idea that it was a temporary problem with the local host so I went on home. Two days later she called me up and said that the message "The contact could not be created. The Hotmail service is temporarily unavailable. We are doing everything we can to get this service back online." was still there and she couldn't get the address book to work. Now for me to drive to Mom's house is a 75 mile round trip, granted that it's a pretty drive doesn't matter, the fact is that I had to make a separate trip, and with gas at 2.00 a gal. You do the math. I got there, I called up tech support. I was cut off 8 $#%$ #$%*&$ times with the same "we are sorry but because of the high volume of calls we have to disconnect your call. Please try again later." Twenty minutes per try I finally got through to a live tech person who told me what to do about the error message. Because of the fact I was on the only land line I wrote down a complicated two page process that in the end didn't work. I tried it twice. The same message came up, "The contact could not be created. The Hotmail service is temporarily unavailable. We are doing everything we can to get this service back online." Well it was back on the @$%&# phone again this time with an incident #. It took 7 #$%$# attempts to get a human. Each time I waited and then a message on the phone "we are sorry but because of the high number of calls we have to disconnect your call try again later." Now I'm on the cell phone for quite awhile knowing that if I get a hold of some one I'll need them to walk me through and I'll need the land line to have me get walked through the problem. As I got through I got a hold of a guy that seemed to know his stuff. As we were just getting into the problem the phone beeped me low battery. I asked the guy to call be back and he told me he had no outside line and couldn't call me back. And blank. The phone's battery went dead. |
At this point I was #$#%^$%# fuming. I unplugged the $%^#%$ computer and threw it into the packing crate and took it to the car and said that if there was a 14 day return policy they are going to take it back. Well Mom just barely got in the car listening to me #$%$# belittle MSN. Half way there Mom said that she liked the computer and that she would pay the extra $400.00 dollars to keep it. So I turned around and took her and the #$%$# computer home. She said that she would get this computer wiz that charges 95 dollars to come and fix it for her. The whole idea for a new computer was to try and save a little money because her old one needed work that would cost money. When we got home I set it back up and tried once more to get through to MSN. Well I felt lucky when it only took 4 tries to get through on the incident # line. This time the guy told me that all I had to do was to delete the entire MSN and to reinstall. So I tried it. I did what he said and crossed my fingers and again "The contact could not be created. The Hotmail service is temporarily unavailable. We are doing everything we can to get this service back online." message popped up and I just sat there head in hands close to tears. I got a stiff drink and tried once more at least to tell them all to got to#$%$# sun don't shine. When I finally got through I talked to the Tech person telling him the problem. As I finished he said I'll need to go and talk to another tech and said he was going to put me on hold for a minute. I tightened up as soon as I heard silence. I was put on hold, waited about five minutes and then was cut off to a dial tone. I was #%*(*&% fuming. I stood up and yelled that I couldn't stand it any more. I scared my Mom from the ranting driving away telling her it's her problem and to get that lady computer guru out there and get it hooked up. Mom, the next day, was going to call her guru but decided to call BestBuy to just drop the MSN, she'd pay the $400.00 to get away from MSN. Well BestBuy said it was a MSN's problem to disconnect the service. Mom commenced to tell the story and was given a number to MSN to call. She called it and to her amazement got right through. There she talked to a woman who told her that it was a service agreement through the store, BestBuy and Mom and that she'd have to take it up with BestBuy. Mom then got in her car and drove across town to BestBuy. Now they're making an 81 year old woman do this. She got there with all her paper work and told the tale again from start to end but to another person other than the one she talked to on the phone. This woman at this point helped her. Finally the MSN vampire monkey was off her back. She drove home and phoned her former ISP and asked them to return to their service. They were so polite to her they walked her through setting her ISP up. Mom was FINALLY so happy that she has her E- mail and a new computer. With no help from MSN. #$%&*% &%$*& company. Microsoft sucks. |
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Follow Bill's smiling face to move from page to page.
Larry Brash's Microsoft & Bill Gates Joke Page.
