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Slave bells ring..are you listenning Gone away..was a few bugs By the gallow we can see a DOSs-house Woooooo.... Later on..we configure Then we start..when we wanna stop |
By the gallow we can see a DOSs-house Woooooo.... Then a man..with his great JOBS Now we think..smart and different A pityful sight..as we crash along..walking in the wintel
wonderland ....wow..wow..woooowwwww! |
| 1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If it's in my hand, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. |
6. If I'm doing or building something,
all the pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine. 8. If I think it's mine, it's mine. 9. If I. . . Oops! I'm sorry; I goofed! Instead of typing in the Toddler Property Laws, I've been typing in Bill Gates' primary Business Plan. |
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One of Microsoft's finest techs was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target. The Microsoft tech looked at his rifle and then at the target again. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. |
He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area: "It's leaving here just fine. The trouble must be at your end!" Microsoft Tech support Phone No. 1800 - SUCKERS |
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Over heard at a MIcrosoft programers meeting: We can't ship this software because: 1) It's too perfect - we can't sell a bug-fix upgrade. 2) It appears to actually be stable. 3) It still loads in under fifteen minutes. 4) It runs too fast on a 386SX. |
5) We can ship it on less than 6 CDs. 6) People will be able to run it without buying more memory. 7) Fully installed it takes less than 100mb of Hard drive space. 8) It is fully compatable with other software. 9) We finished it when we said we would. 10) There is a small town in Mongolia that hasn't been saturated with Microsoft advertisements yet. |
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We took a look at the new beta of Internet Explorer 4.0, and we have three choice words about the new release: man, that's big! The new IE is such a huge download that we doubt anybody in their right mind will want to grab it over a modem line, which means Microsoft is going to have to come up with alternate distribution methods, such as these: 10. Embed Internet Explorer in each copy of Netscape Communicator. 9. Give a stash of IE CDs to border guards in China; everybody crossing into Hong Kong gets one. 8. "Free inside each specially marked box of Kellogg's Corn Flakes!" |
7. Summer jobs program: hire teenagers to replace the disc in Spice Girls CD packages with IE 4.0 CD-ROM. 6. "Scratcher" lottery CDs. 5. Get AOL to distribute IE. 4. Drop CD-ROMs from flying saucers over Roswell, New Mexico. 3. Free IE disc with your library card. 2. Airborne virus. 1. "Browser days" at your local ballpark! |
Follow Bill's smiling face to move from page to page.
Larry Brash's Microsoft & Bill Gates Joke Page.
