Welcome to Larry Brash's Microsoft & Bill Gates Jokes

Welcome!

This is one of the biggest and best collection of Micro$oft and Bill Gates Jokes on the Internet.

Here are 45 pages of great Micro$oft and Bill Gates humour, more than 80 jokes (new ones and classics), clever quotes, funny images, anagrams, acronyms, animations, cheeky javascripts and lots of links.

While you will find many of these jokes on other websites, you will discover a lot of original stuff here.

Thank you to everyone who has submitted material. I will always give credit and a reciprocal link to all contributors unless requested otherwise.

Look Out!

Bill Gates has now invaded many more countries than Hilter ever did and has influenced more minds with his propaganda than Goebbels. His plan for Global Domination is nearly complete as his neo-fascist underlings chant his anthem.

"You can keep your Marxist ways,
For its only just a phase,
'Cos, its money that makes
the World go round!"

The Guinness Book of Records now records him as passing the Sultan of Brunei as the Richest Man in the World, depending on the share price of Microsoft versus the market price of oil on any particular day

A German reader tells me that if you pronounce "Window$" in German, it would sound like "Vindofs". "Dof" or "doof" in German, means stupid or idiotic. I'm not in the least surprised!

Latest Micro$oft Anagram

Microsoft Internet Explorer =
Expect online terrors from it.
Created by Mey Kraus and posted to The Anagrammy Forum

Donate to this website!

Watch out! As you read this, Micro$oft is checking up on you.

Keep Bill off your computer with Micro$oft Blocker

Bill Gates hates my website

A genuine screenshot submitted by Richard Birch

There are now three ways to view this site.

(1) Start the Tour here.

To read all the pages start here. The newest jokes will appear first. Clicking the Homepage button will bring you back here.

Follow Bill's smiling face to move from page to page.

And why is he smiling? Microsoft made a cool million bucks while you sat here reading these jokes.

(2) Use the left frame.

Navigate to the jokes or pages that you wish to read. No frames showing? Click here.

First check out the page called About this website to find out more about this website.

(3) Download all the jokes.

If you want to download all the jokes and read them off-line at your leisure, I now have them batched together in zip files. Images not included.

As a MSWord file (65K) - jokes.zip
As a text file (61K) - jokes_text.zip

NEW FOR MAC USERS!
As a MSWord file in a Mac compression format (67K) - jokes.sit
As a series of small text files in a Mac compression format (61K) - jokes_text.sit

All that mandatory bottom-of-the-page stuff!

(You know, the all usual stuff that people put on the bottom of their webpages: a web-ring, vote-for-me link, animated banner ad, acknowledgements, copyright details and assorted images. There are all here. Does anyone, except for losers like you, ever read this crap?)