On March 2, 2000, the A&E cable TV network aired a biography of Raymond Burr which took the position that Burr was gay. While this idea isn’t new, it has generated a significant amount of controversy, so I’d like to put in my two cents worth now.
It seems to me, there are two questions here:
1. Was Raymond Burr gay?
2. Is there anything wrong with being gay?
These questions are linked because, if you believe the answer to the second one is no, the first question becomes irrelevant.
I don’t know if Raymond Burr was gay; I’ve seen evidence on both sides of the question. While I was privileged to meet him a few times, I never asked for and he never volunteered that information.
But I do know that Raymond Burr was a fine actor, a great humanitarian, and a warm and generous person, and you’d be hard pressed to find anyone who believes otherwise. Whether he was or wasn’t gay doesn’t change any of that.
The second question is perhaps more controversial. I don’t believe there’s anything wrong with being gay. Christian fundamentalists will disagree with me, citing various Biblical passages to support their position. But Christian opinion is far from unanimous on the question. The Episcopal Church, for example, recently approved the ordination of lesbian and gay ministers, and the Presbyterian Church is so divided on the issue that many members are talking about a permanent split into two denominations.
My father was a Presbyterian minister and my mother a church elder. Both were deeply committed Christians, while at the same time strong advocates of gay rights. Neither saw any contradiction there. Their congregation warmly welcomed gay people, many of whom were among their most active members.
It’s estimated that between 8 and 11 percent of the population is gay. That means that, unless you’re a hermit, you probably know some gay people, though you may not know they’re gay. I have gay friends, relatives, and co-workers, and chances are, you do too.
It’s commonly believed that it’s easy to spot homosexuals - gay men have high-pitched voices and talk with a lisp, while lesbians are rough and tough and wear their hair short. It’s true that many gays fit these stereotypes, but so do some straight people. And many gay people look and act no differently than those who are straight.
So if you find yourself making a joke at the expense of gay people or maligning them in any way, keep in mind that you may, in fact, be speaking to a gay person or to the friend or relative of a gay person. It’s not some faceless, nameless group you’re talking about but people I care about and possibly your own acquaintances and loved ones as well.
Why would a person hide the fact that she/he is gay? To begin with, gays grow up knowing that many people consider them sick and worthy of scorn. They may be afraid of losing their jobs or their friends. There are even examples of people who are so obsessed with hating gay people that they physically attack or even kill them, for no other reason than that they’re gay. These are pretty horrible things to have to live with, and most straight people have no idea what it’s like.
Many people think being gay is a choice, but scientific evidence suggests otherwise. A doctor in San Francisco found that a particular part of gay mens’ brains was a different size than that of straight men. More convincing to me, though, is the fact that all the gay people I’ve talked to tell me that they’ve been that way as long as they can remember. When it comes right down to it, do you really think a person would decide to put up with the difficulties imposed on them by an anti-gay society if she/he had a choice?
Many gay people are reluctant to defend themselves for fear of a backlash. That’s why it’s important for those of us who are straight to speak up when gay people are attacked or maligned. It’s easy to sit back and remain silent, but it’s not the right thing to do.
Fortunately, things have changed quite a bit over the past thirty years or so. In many communities, gay people can live openly, knowing that their friends, families, and neighbors accept them as they are. But as the current controversy over Raymond Burr shows, we still have a long way to go.
I can’t say with certainty whether Raymond Burr was or wasn’t gay, but if you believe, as I do, that there’s nothing wrong with that, then it really doesn’t matter. He was as kind and moral a person as you’re ever likely to meet, and as far as I’m concerned, the question of his sexual orientation is irrelevant. I hope you can find it in your heart to agree with me.