David Rabbitborough's A to Z of Australian Species

 

TRUCK DRIVER

There are few dangers in travelling on Australian roads, but one which all those who venture forth should be wary of is the Truck Driver.

Truck Drivers are predominantly nocturnal creatures that venture forth soon after dark to undertake long journeys from one city to another. Travelling in packs called convoys they move along the major migratory routes at high speeds. Like camels they seem to be able to travel vast distances without food, water, or it appears, sleep and usually stop only once along the way at special watering holes.

Should one encounter one of these creatures on the road, it is inadvisable to leave your car and approach them, no matter what they may have done, for they frequently grow to enormous proportions and have been known to maul common motorists. With their huge stomachs and massive arms, they are virtually unchallenged on the roads, except for the Police and Transport Regulation Officers who lie in wait for them along the way.

One opportunity you may have to take a closer look is at the watering holes since they are generally harmless while eating. Then you may draw close enough to see the unique bluey green patterns on their upper arms, and hear them speak their quite unique language, made up of a small number of short, frequently repeated words that only other truck drivers seem to understand. Should they direct any of these words to you, the best idea is smile politely and leave the premises as soon as possible.

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