David Rabbitborough's A to Z of Australian Species

 

REAL ESTATE AGENT

Australia contains over 200 species of venomous agent, perhaps the most common of these is the real estate agent.

Real estate agents are usually found crawling around in the rotting wood of old houses with cheerful grins on their faces pointing out the building's potential. The creatures seem to particularly thrive in an atmosphere of dampness. When following a real estate agent through a house you will almost certainly find wet paint, wet plaster, and a carpet which is still not quite dry.

The real estate agent lives by preying on creatures with and without homes. Its main aim in life is to coax one set of individuals out of a burrow so it can coax another set in. Of the ingoing species, the agent recognises two distinct breeds - Buyers and Renters - which it treats quite differently. When confronted with a Buyer, the agent becomes warm and affectionate, and is even able to become very excited about the age and the charm of the building, when climbing out of a hole in the floorboards. On the other hand, when confronted with a Renter, the agent's hackles rise. It turns quite savage and demands references, the renter's tax returns for the last ten years and a deposit greater than the value of the house. But it is best known for its calls which include the cry "You won't better than this for the price". "This one won't last" and "There's another couple very interested".

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