David Rabbitborough's A to Z of Australian Species

 

THE ARCHITECT

In the central parts of Australian cities, collections of vast stone monoliths project upwards from the ground. For years the origin and purpose of these gigantic structures were obscure but we now know that they are the work of a race of creatures called Architects.

The architect is species of human being that has a strange habit of arranging wood, rocks and sand into piles. For thousands of years, architects had to actually carry the rocks and pile them up by hand, but with the evolution of technology, architects have developed the ability to erect buildings just by ruling lines on paper. As rulers have grown longer, buildings have grown taller.

Strangely enough Architects never discovered the coloured pencil and hence most buildings remain white or grey.

No two Architects are exactly alike - each one seems to trying to be different from the others. The odd thing however is that they are all different in exactly the same way with the result that the between their buildings can only be spotted by an expert.

What is still not known however is why architects build these colossal edifices in the first place. They seem to have no personal use for them, for no sooner have they completed one than they immediately commence work on another. It seems as though their sole purpose is to gradually fill the whole landscape with towering monuments.

Interestingly, other human species do not object to architects building these giant monoliths across the landscape but rather make use of them, in a remarkable way. They live in them. By dividing up the huge open spaces into rooms, laying carpets and hanging up pictures they manage to transform these cold, concrete caverns into quite passable living and working areas.

Significantly, the architects themselves are rarely seen in the buildings the construct, much preferring to work out of old factories with stripped pine floors and visible air-conditioning ducts. We can only wonder if they know something we don't.

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