What is the reason for catholic priests not being able to marry? Is priesthood lonely?

In the Roman catholic church there has been an ancient tradition (or discipline) of celibacy, which is the fact that a person will remain in an unmarried state for the purpose of channelling their energy and love into the focused and public service of God and others. Celibacy is also an outward sign of our confidence in the ultimate promises of Christ that at the end of time all people will live in communion with God and with each other and there will no longer be husbands and wives (Luke 20:36) but something completely new and complete.

There have always been celibate Christians. Saint Paul is a notable example, although his language in some scripture passages has to be read carefully, critically and in context.

Celibacy was made mandatory in the 12^th Century, but one must acknowledge that it had always been held up as a worthy option. Even as far back as the Council of Trent (1545-63), the church made it clear that celibacy was a church law, not a divine law, and that although there is a value in keeping clerical celibacy, it did not undermine the value of marriage.

A healthy approach to the idea of celibacy is that Christian celibacy is not making any negative statements about sexual intercourse within marriage or even marriage. Celibacy and Married life are two worthy and valid ways of serving God. It is important to ensure people don’t think blindly that everyone simply must marry to be a complete human being or that there is something abnormal about celibacy. They are both perfectly valid expressions of human love. Both are capable of sustaining warm human beings who are generous and loving.

There is a disturbing trend in some sectors of society to suggest that celibacy is a rule that demands that a person must not "love". This is a deceitful description of celibacy. Celibacy must be loving and generous.

The rite of ordination for a Deacon (who is preparing to be a priest as well) says that celibacy is a "sign and motive of pastoral charity and a special source of spiritual fruitfulness in the world….. By your life and character you will give witness to your brothers and sisters in faith that God must be loved above all else, and that it is God whom you serve in others." This section of the rite also suggests that celibacy when lived out properly allows one to be "more freely at the service of God and humankind". This, of course is not to suggest that marriage is any less a loving of God or that marriage takes one away from the service of God and humanity, because marriage is a sacrament and sign of God’s love for the world, expressed in the love of two people. Celibacy can be a sacrament of the love of God in another form, an outward sign of commitment to service of God above all.

Celibacy is a choice. The Roman Catholic Church, as a rule, does not call people to the priesthood except if it discerns that they are also called to celibacy. This may, at first, seem to be a rather technical point but it is an important one. It means that the catholic church does not make someone be celibate, it seeks to choose those who are celibate for the kingdom to assist in this way.

Celibacy also exists as a corrective to the unhealthy attitude society has towards sexuality in that one gets the impression that the human being must act on impulses and desires and cannot integrate physical yearnings with other values or priorities.

There is unhealthy celibacy, and the formation to priesthood seeks to prevent this. There is nothing inherently distorted about celibacy, as some might suggest. Unhealthy celibacy stems from an immature or repressed sexuality.

If it is true to say that some people have "escaped" into celibacy as a distorted way of avoiding intimacy and maturity, then it is also true to say that some people have "escaped" into marriage as a way of avoiding their issues in relation to their sexuality and avoiding intimacy by replacing it with either physicality or domesticity. In short, the issue is not really about celibacy versus marriage, but about healthy and mature sexuality and personality that allows one to be a warm, loving and positive human being.

Celibate priests must be loving people. They must be able to form life-giving and supportive networks of friends. Celibacy is not about denying the fact that we are sexual beings, rather it seeks to acknowledge who we are in the context of generous service and love for others, expressing this love in ways other than sexually (which is intended for married love alone).

Is priesthood lonely. Not any more than other vocations. I have come across married people who are lonely, and married people who are happy. I have also come across celibate people who are lonely and celibate people who are happy. Loneliness is not reserved for celibate people alone, despite what the mythology might suggest.

I read somewhere that forty percent of the population never marries (assuming that includes never forming a de facto relationship). If this is true, (and certainly many of us know people who have never married and yet have lived loving and generous lives in service of the community) then celibacy has a place.

It is as if the would-be disciple is asking of Jesus, "is this lifestyle possible? can it work? will it prove fruitful?" Jesus might very well be heard to reply, "come and see for yourself!" Certainly, one should treat with great suspicion the suggestion that celibacy cannot possibly be a life-giving option, it can be and is!