Dear Dick
articles about wide ranging psychological issues
from "The Local Bulletin" (Brisbane Australia)
by Dick Rigby
©all articles are copyright 2006

March 2006
Last year I received a phone call from a lady upset about an earlier “Dear Dick” article.  In the article, I talked about a person called Dianne who was a chronic pessimist.  I said that pessimism is like an addiction.  It is a way of avoiding looking at things the way they really are.  Dianne distorted reality in order to fit her subconscious theory that it will all end in tears.
I recommended that Dianne admit that she been distorting to make things appear worse than they really were.  I also recommended that Dianne tested the reality of her perceptions by bouncing her reality off trusted people and really listening to the feedback that she gets. 
The caller was upset because she said that I didn’t understand what it was like to be depressed.  She objected to me saying that depressed people lie to themselves. 
I can understand why she was upset.  But the point of my article was to challenge people who are chronically pessimistic and depressed to really examine their belief systems.  Depressed people do distort reality.  That is the nature of the disease.  A big part of the psychological treatment for depression is to learn how to be more positive.
Circumstances can trigger depression. For example, Larry had been diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer.  He was in pain.  He had good reasons for being depressed - but he wasn’t.  He learned how to remain positive. He chose to make the best of his remaining time with his family and loved ones.
Depression is different from grieving.  Grieving is a way of dealing with bad news.  Grieving is a process we can move through.  Depression is about being stuck.
The challenge for depressed people is to learn how to challenge any false belief that runs the depression.  It is very hard to do this on your own.