Dear Dick
articles about wide ranging psychological issues
from "The Local Bulletin" (Brisbane Australia)
by Dick Rigby
©all articles are copyright 2006

April 2006
Oh boy did Johnny get into trouble.  He was in trouble in school and at home.  He was with a gang of other 13 year old boys that beautified Kenmore buildings with their graffiti.  Johnny had been ticked off by the police a couple of times, but nothing serious.  Johnny was not a bad boy, he just got into trouble.
Mary and Ray were at their wits end.  They had been up to see the school counsellor about their son.  They explained to the school counsellor that their younger daughter Amy was so well behaved.  Amy did well at school and played in the net ball team and was so helpful at home.  What was Johnny’s problem?
The school counsellor suggested some behavioural management strategies for Johnny.  They worked for a while.  The counsellor tried to talk to Johnny, but he was a closed book.  No one knew what to do.  The trouble was that they were looking in the wrong place.
The right place to look was the family as a whole.  Johnny was the conduit for the families negative energy.  There was a lot of tension between Mary and Ray.  They fought a lot and nothing was ever resolved satisfactorily   They hung onto their resentments.  But to the outside world they presented as the Brady Bunch.
Amy was so well behaved because she tried to keep the peace.  If she didn’t cause any trouble, then things might get better.  Johnny acted out his frustration with his attention seeking behaviour.
The whole family were unaware at a conscious level of what they were doing.  What is more, it was more convenient  for his parents to blame Johnny than to look at their own issues.
Mary and Ray did go to a psychologist, but they didn’t like her because she said that they would have to make changes in their relationship.
This story doesn't have a happy ending because Mary and Ray have not yet had the courage to honestly look at their issues.