Chronological Crue is proud to share these emotion stirring memoirs with Crüeheads every month, of an extraordinary relationship that grew between a special young fan and the Crüe's engine room, Nikki Sixx. Come on the journey with us, as every month we chronologically re-visit the meeting and treating, the tears and the fears, the inspiration and dedication, of this unique perspective on life, Crüe and fate. These chapters are written and contributed under her preferred alias of Angel Aderhold.

YOUR THOUGHTS...

Danni Reeves from Melbourne, Australia says:
Your story is truly inspirational. I'm 32 now and have been quietly obsessed with the most glorificus (Nikki) since my earliest teens. I unfortunately was so overcome with emotion that during their Melbourne concert in 1990 I was so overcome with the whole concept of the Crue being in Australia (not forgetting the fact that Nikki had overdosed (and died) oh,my,god! tell me it isn't so!)) that all I could do was f@cking passout! (sorry for the bad language!, but I was awestruck to say the least!)  You are a special lady, all the best to you and your family.  As I'm sure you feel, you only wish Nikki all the best - the most we can hope for is that he can stay clean for long enough to die an old man and strangely enough I kinda like Donna ( who knew it was possible!)  Aren't we meant to hate all mere  humans that get too close to those godlike humanoids that we like to call our own!  I'll always love Nikki - good, bad, ugly, confused and as the family man that he strives to be now, god bless him and his - and yours too!  From one Crüe fan to another!  Rock on and be healthy, wealthy and wise my friend.

Karen Antonelli says:
I wanted to thank you for the wonderful walk down memory lane. Only the people who experienced the late 80's can understand what an incredible time it was. My younger sister and I also experienced the era together, we haven't been getting along real well lately, so I'm going to send her your story. I think the trip down memory lane will help to rebond our friendship. Thanks so much. I wish you well.

Dave Tardiff from USA says:
A year ago my Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer and to say the least it scared me to death. He has since had his operation and the Drs. say he is a miracle patient. No more signs of cancer and he is doing remarkably well. I have a hard time discussing this with loved ones because I am expected to be the strong one. Your story touched me deeply and I wanted to thank you for your courage to share such a heart warming story of triumph. It's funny how Nikki playing such an integral role in your life, helped me come to terms with what happened in mine. I hope you get to thank him one day, and if you do, thank him for me for inspiring you to write something that helped me in my time of need. PS: My wife and I are expecting our first child and if its a boy it will be Frank and a girl Nicole. GOD bless.

Angela from Toronto, Ontario, Canada says:
First off, it was a fun ride full of memories for me too. Although I wasn't as close as you were to the Crüe... they definately made an impact on my life, dreams, aspirations, etc. My bet is Nikki does remember you as Angel. He doesn't forget much... although sometimes it may take him a while to remember. I hope he's read the whole 9 chapters of this and the light bulb does go off. I guess I better introduce myself to you, huh? My name is Angela a.k.a Allister Skank... I'm the owner of the UNOFFICIAL Mötley Crüe Mailing List. I started the list about 5 years ago when I could no longer take the drivel of those in the alt.ng. It has changed servers a few times over that but we're basically the same bunch that started the list. In 1985, TOP tour, I remember feeling the same way you did. I was listening to Madonna and Cyndi Lauper so when my first love (or so I thought) took me to TOP, I remember the intense feelings that came up!!!! Your whole story has given me inspiration (that I think I needed yet again) and revived some memories for me (good & bad).. Congrats on your little ones. I'm awaiting number 2. Due July 30th. As the list owner/Crüe fanatic... maybe you've heard... I'm trying to organize (without much time or success at this point) a Mötley convention for internet fans. I was involved in the Van Halen Mailing List con in 1996 (it was the first) so now I'll try to use my expertise and contacts to make a bigger and better one this time. Although I think I'm out of my league since I want to host it in Los Angeles and I live in Toronto, Ontario Canada!!!!! Well... enough from me... I just thought I'd say how great your story was!

Beth from Pottstown, Pennsylvania USA says:
I would like to say that the chapters from Angel were a pleasure to read. I absolutely couldn't wait for the next month to come. I had placed a post on the Mötley BB and talked about the "times" I was having dealing with my very sick Mom who had been battling lung and brain cancer for 3 months. Angel was one of the people who replied to my post, and her and I have been chatting ever since! I feel so lucky to have met her, she has been a great person to chat with and help me through these times!! And even though I don't "actually know" Angel, I value her friendship! And to think, if it wasn't for THE Crüe thing in common, I wouldn't have this friend!!! Thanks to the Crüe for being "My Fix", and thanks to Angel for being "A Friend"!!

Crystal from Rock Hill, SC, USA says:
Has it been 9 months???? It seems like just yesterday, I started reading Angel's column!!! And NOW what am I going to look forward to??? I just wanted to tell ya'll how much I have enjoyed this column. It feels so good to know that there is someone out there who has had the same feelings and emotions as me. I too, started out as an innocent, young southern girl who somehow fell into the lure of Mötley Crüe. Ultimately, this band has changed my perspective and outlook on everything I do in life. Some of Angel's emotions and actions are eerily similar to mine. I couldn't even begin to fit my long list of stupid and probably insane things that I have done for love of Nikki in one email. The music of Mötley Crüe has the power to make a person believe that they can do ANYTHING!!! (at 14 my best friend and I even stole my dad's truck thinking We were gonna go meet the Crüe!!!) I liked the fact that Angel doesn't fit the heavy metal rock girl trailer-trash stereotype... I always felt that I didn't either. I can so understand when she states that her parents, etc. don't feel that Nikki is responsible for her having children. But the fact is, Nikki Sixx gave her strength, he gave her something to believe in and through that she believed in herself more. In a weird way, yes, maybe he is responsible. I am also a mother of two young boys who love the Crüe. As a college freshman, I thought I was one smart cookie. I had a long list of goals and things to do in life. However, being 18 and knocked-up was NOT one of them. As I left the Dr's office after finding out this news, I was devastated. Afterall, I had bars to go to and a party lifestyle. No way could I have a kid!!!! But when I got in my car what song came on the radio??? "Time for Change" Keep in mind that this was 93', long after "Dr. Feelgood" was regular radio airplay (hey remember grunge??) So immediatley I knew... THERE'S YOUR SIGN!!! And my life did change, BOY DID IT CHANGE!!! I relied on the Crüe to give me the strength to fight all the bullshit opinions of the world and be a single mother. Ya know that same fighting spririt that gets in your blood every time you hear the song "bastard"? Anyway, I find myself in Mötley Crüe. I take from it only what makes me stronger. "take this song and you'll never be left all alone" I now think about that verse differently. Knowing that people like Angel are out there....I am not all alone. Thank you for sharing her story with the world, I truly enjoyed it.

Gina Anson from Gypsum, CO, USA says:
Thank you again soooooo much for having "Angel" write her story on your site. She is very special to me and she is my best friend. If it had not been for your site I would not have found the true Angel, God and you have brought into my life. Candy is a wonderful person and she deserves all she has. I do hope that one day Nikki will remember her and say to her "you are Welcome". She needs that. But that aside. THANK YOU SO MUCH, you have given me the best thing anyone could ever give someone, A TRUE FRIEND. Thanks Paul.

Debbie Ferraro from Wilmington, DE, USA says:
Paul and Angel, Thanks so very much for sharing your life thoughts and traumas. My life story has also taken very much inspiration from Mötley Crüe and Nikki to this day still inspires me. I was literally in tears reading about your children and the miracle that brought them into life. Paul as always I applaud you for keeping it real on your website, and Angel thank you so very much for sharing your story. If we ever do get that Live Wire Convention I hope to meet you both and share my life story with you. It is amazing that despite all of our differences, wether it be demographical, physical or whatever, we all share so very much and are so alike.

Marie from USA says:
~Some people come into your life and leave without a trace... while others walk softly and leave footprints~ Yes, that was an inspirational story. BUT, Angel forgot one little detail. She & I met because of the Crüe. Angel & I actually went to school and graduated together, though we hung out in totally different crowds. She was in the "in crowd" and I was in the "way-out crowd"! LOL Little did I know that while I was jamming to the Crüe on one side of the fence, she was jamming to the Crüe on the other. Then, in about August of '98 (shortly after my 10 year class reunion), I wrote a letter to Metal Edge Magazine about the Crüe. I believe it was about Tommy Lee going to jail, and how the true Crüeheads were behind him no matter what. They printed my snail mail address with the letter. Little did I know that it would lead to one of the best friends I've ever had. I recieved a letter shortly after the issue came out with a note on the front that said the writer was from my home town. I was like, "Uh-oh, I wonder who it is?" It was the first in a LOOOOOONG line of letters from Angel. I was surprised to find someone who was a Crüe fanatic like me, and I was really surprised that we became fast friends. In school we hardly ever spoke, yet now hardly a day goes by that we don't e-mail or call one another. We met a few months after she wrote that first letter when she came home for "vacation". I'd say it was more like an adventure! LOL We almost had to sneak out of the house to get away from her parents! Believe me, her dad really IS a cross between Chevy Chase and Adolf Hitler! I actually got in trouble myself when I kept her out past a 6:00 pm curfew! LOL Imagine, two grown women, one married with children, having to ask a parent's permission to go to the Wal-Mart! And her Granny is just as cool as she described. I went out to visit Angel last year for a week. One of our main goals? To buy "New Tattoo" the day it hit the stores! We almost panicked when we couldn't find it on the shelves! But find it, we did! So there we were,cruising around with her two boys (ok, monkeys! ;) ) jamming to the Crüe! They kept saying "Turn it up, Mommy!" How cool is that? I will NEVER regret having that letter published. I still have every letter she has sent me. (Some of them might be considered "novels" they're so long!) I am ever grateful that fate, and the Crüe, led me to be friends with Angel. Sure, she might drive me nuts sometimes, (And I KNOW I drive her nuts too!) but what are friends for? LOL We both took our chances in writing one another, not knowing what, if anything, would come of it. I'm glad we took those chances! Our next goal is to catch a Crüe show together. THAT should be a REAL adventure. But I'm sure Granny will cover for us! ;) Keep rockin' Mötley style!

Candy Privett from Wellston, Oklahoma, USA says:
Because of angel's story we have become good chat buddys and the last few chapters have made me cry and laugh all in the same breathe. I will glady give her three cheers. She is a very awesome person.

Anne says:
Well I just read all of your chapters, and at first it was a lot like my life. I fell in love with Nixxi Sixx in 1985 and I am from the south too. A very small town. My friend and I were Crüe girls and went to every concert we could. I enjoyed what you wrote, and also was jealous too. I now have a five year son who is the light of my day, and we jam out to my Crüe tapes. Just really wanted to say i enjoyed your chapters and keep it up and rock on.

Rich from Cleveland, OH, USA says:
These stories are sooo kick-ass!! I am happy to hear that ANGEL turned out to be such an "ANGEL" after all.. If it were MEANT to happen it would have, and im SURE nikki remembers (I'm sure NIKKI knows who she really is, HOW COULD HE NOT??)(and as for Angel actually NOT saying something to nikki.. i beleive it..) She is MUCH TOO PARANOID(and too respectful of private times)!! and to live a ROCK and ROLL life style anyway!! LMAO!! So i guess im trying to say is that im sure nikki remembers and is glad to have meet her as well.. MY FONDEST FAREWELL to SWEET SIXXTEEN!! It has inspired me in MANY ways!! And have gained a good friend!! I NEED THE WHOLE STORY IN A COVER!! as for you Paul!! YOU are SOOO Mötley DUDE!!! I LUV THIS SIGHT AND visit it DAILY as i do Mötley.com I WOULD DIE TO MEET THE Crüe (or atleast sixx)!! L8ER!! BIGGEST SIXX FAN IN CLEVELAND OHIO USA!!!!!

Miss MagMay from USA says:
Just wanted to drop you a quick note to let you know how much I've enjoyed Angel's story. She's a very good writer and really provided some good insight into Nikki. The girl has had the relationship with Nikki that most of us female fans only dream of. At least now, after reading her story, I can at least throw some factual information into my dreams. LOL Very powerful tale indeed....every month, I'd look forward to the latest installment. I think it was a nice touch to add her picture to the very end. That way, you got to picture her in the way she described herself. Then, at the end, when you see her, it makes the story that much more real. I can see why Sixx liked her. She's really pretty, but smart and deep as well. Thanks for sharing her story with us all. And keep up the phenomenal work on your site. I LOVE IT.

Brandy from FL, USA says:
I enjoyed Angel's story as it unfolded. It brought back many teenage memories. I, too, have stories similar to Angel's, so it was great to know someone out there can relate and still thinks of the Crüe after all these years! Ironically, in the 1980's (before I knew him), my husband was in a Crüe coverband... he was the "Vince Neil". Looked like him, sounded like him, chicks flocked, etc... so we obviously have common interests. We attend Crüe shows together and leave the kids at home! Paul.. your web site is outstanding. It's the most detailed site I've ever seen! Also, it would be great if you could put me in touch with Angel. I'd like to share some stories with her. Take care.

Danielle Mock from Shillington, PA, USA says:
I wanted to email you and let you know I loved reading Angel's stories. I think her whole tale is very inspirational in that, if you want it bad enough and you truly believe, it can happen, you just have to have faith. Granted, she has yet to hook up with Nikki and connect, but there were so many other things given to her in her life because she had the courage to dream about them. I think her story was wonderful and I am so grateful she shared it with everyone. Thank you, Angel, and thank you, Paul, for such a great site.

Monica Haudek from Belton, TX, USA says:
I really liked what Angel wrote. She went through what alot of us 16-17 year olds in the 80's went through, having "Crüe Crushes". Wow, and I thought I was the only dreamer back then, I always wanted to meet Nikki, and through her writings, and now having read " THE DIRT",  ( in four days),  I feel as though I know him and all the guys better. You really get to understand more of why they were the way they were and it all makes sense now, that Mick is not the "strange, quiet one, but rather you understand why he was so quiet, man.............he was in pain due to his illness. I truly wish for only happiness for them all,  they so deserve to have TRUE LOVES in their lives and TRUE HAPPINESS. They have been through so much, and have received in reality, so little. I still listen to all of my Crüe Music, (which is now on CD's rather than my cassettes, for obvious reasons, the cassettes now suck as far as sound quality. Guess it is from extensive play. Ya think?) What was coolest was to hear that I was not alone in trying to get the "Big Hair" thing going on before shows, and I too went through the slit jeans thing. What is cool is, I can associate something with every single Crüe song, and it is like when you are listening you kinda go back to the time, crazy parties, crazy friends, and cool memories of the Crüe shows, although the guys will never know who we all are, they still to this day, have alot of 30 years old fans who still know they rock and we all still jam out to their songs!  I hope for them to one day all reunite before I leave this earth so I can jam out one more time. Thanks to the Crüe for sooooo many memories and sooo many bad ass tunes to bring it all back.....it is all GOOD! Thanks for posting her writings. For what ever it's worth, I appreciate it. "A FOREVER LOYAL, CRÜEHEAD FROM TEXAS".

Kelly Pennello from Corona, CA, USA says:
I just finished reading Chapter 9 of Angel's story. I had a baby 7 months ago and have kind of lost touch with your website until recently. I got sooo in to Angel's story that I read all 9 chapters in 2 days. Reading her chapters I literally felt like I was re-living my life in the 80's. Like you (Angel) and millions of other girls me and my best friend we're TOTAL CRÜE FANS! We lived, breathed, walked, talked, etc for Mötley Crüe! I was in loooove with Tommy Lee and my friend was in looove with Nikki Sixx. We would go to High School and do nothing but think of Tommy & Nikki. We would come home and get ready for our "jam session" meaning we would put on "Live Wire" and "Peace of your Action" and I would play "air drums" and she would play "air bass/guitar". Anyway, it was time for Mötley to come to LA and we would do ANYTHING to get backstage. In short we succeeded in getting backstage for the "Shout of the Devil" tour but unfortunately didn't get to meet our GODS then for the Girls Girls Girls tour we succeeded again and got backstage but my girlfriend had to "satisfy a security guard" first (if you know what I mean). Anyway, that time I got to meet Tommy! He gave me a big hug and said "thanks for coming to the show". I thought I was GOING TO DIE, my girlfriend said the look on my face was priceless! Unfortunately the rest of the band was no where to be found (I'm sure they were off partyn). But we had a great time and met TONS of other rock stars. By the time the tour for Dr. Feelgood came around my girlfriend was "out of touch" with Mötley Crüe but I was still a DIE HARD FAN so me and another friend went and again got backstage but this time it was more like a "wanna be backstage party" the guys were sober for that tour (we think) so I'm sure they were probably in a limo on their way home. It just wasn't anything like I had experienced in the past. The Greatest Hits tour came and me and my girlfriend (the one that was in love w/ Nikki) went for old time sake. Boy did we feel old! We were both married, she had a son 3 years old and I hadn't had my daughter yet. We enjoyed remembering all our crazy times and still thought that Nikki was GORGEOUS and I really missed seeing Tommy Lee play with the band (he quit a month before). Your stories were so great! Really brought me down "memory Lane" I'm going to try to tape my girlfriends butt to her computer so she can read Sweet Sixx Teen. You are very lucky to have had the kind of relationship that you had with Nikki, especially during those times w/ all the women and drug use. I sure hope by now (after reading your story) he has contacted you and that you will meet again in the near future. Thanks for the memories, I really enjoyed stepping back into the 80's.

Jenny says:
Hi "Angel"- Just wanted to say - your story was so sweet, funny, moving and inspirational! I enjoyed reading it and in knowing that Nikki isn't your typical asshole rock star. Your life was changed because of such innocent, yet extraordinary circumstances and it was such a beautiful tale to share with your kids someday when they're old enough to appreciate it...
I had one question though - silly as it may be. I didn't notice anywhere in the story where you said you kissed him. You messed around, but no kiss? If so, what kind of kisser is he? I find this interesting because most guys, even the sexy ones- can't kiss well. All the romance and passion of a person is in their kiss and it says a lot about them. Just wondering what it was like, that is if you did kiss him? Thanks, Jenny

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