Chronological Crue is proud to
share these emotion stirring memoirs with Crüeheads every month, of an
extraordinary relationship that grew between a special young fan and
the Crüe's engine room, Nikki Sixx. Come on the journey with us, as
every month we chronologically re-visit the meeting and treating, the
tears and the fears, the inspiration and dedication, of this unique
perspective on life, Crüe and fate. These chapters are written and
contributed under her preferred alias of Angel Aderhold.
The Mission Begins! - August 2000.
In 1987 the ‘Girls Girls Girls’
tour was going on and I was a virgin... STILL waiting for Nikki! LOL! I
still didn't drink or smoke and was still the designated driver... yada
yada yada... as I covered in Chapter 1. BUT,
I had a plan, or two, or three, up my sleeve! I was on a MISSION to get
to Nikki Sixx and lose my virginity.
I was sly and
devious and COMPLETELY out of character for myself! I was an honor
student, in the Gifted program and I took a sudden interest in extra
credit for Geography and Geometry. I had my atlas out with my pen and
paper looking to the world like I was trying to raise my 99 average in
class, to a perfect 100. The truth was, I was working word problems
that my teacher would have been proud of... "IF I leave at 1:00, how
many miles away can I make it in 8 hours by car?" BUT, "IF I leave at
1:00 by PLANE, how far away can I fly in 8 hours?" I knew EXACTLY how
far away I could get and for how long before anyone questioned my
Now, to cover
my tracks...I LIED to EVERYONE I knew; my parents and my BEST
girlfriends. I told my parents I was spending the night with my friend
Faith [alias] and had Faith cover for me. I told Faith that I was going
away with that Freddy guy, which my parents absolutely hated and asked,
"Will you PLEASE cover for me?" She said "What are friends for... go
and have fun!" SO, I knew ahead of time how many Crüe shows I thought I
could make it to without anyone being suspicious.
Up to that
point, the skimpiest outfit I had worn was my cheerleading outfit! LOL!
So, I had to borrow a wardrobe from a, shall we say, LESS conservative
friend! LOL! I tried on leather, fishnet, spiked heels, you name it. I
kept thinking, "Too slutty," "Too much exposed skin,” “Too short,” "Too
tight," etc. I finally decided what to wear and fine-tuned my plan. I
decided that one thing I KNEW was that I COULDN'T go see Mötley Crüe
with any of my girlfriends because, God Forbid... IF Nikki paid
attention to one of them and not me, I'd have to kill them! LOL! JUST
KIDDING... BUT, I DIDN'T want a rival for attention, so I chose to go
to a show alone.
It was the
fall of 1987 when I started my alter ego. I hid my new wardrobe in my
trunk and planned my escape. I left my home looking like Mary
Poppins and arrived at a Crüe show looking like Traci Lords.
OK, maybe that's a bit of an exaggeration! LOL! But that's how I FELT,
considering the fact that I didn't even wear bikini bathing suits and
my Daddy didn't let me pierce my ears until I was old enough to drive!
He always said, "If God would have wanted holes in your ears, they
would have been there when you were born!"
So, I show up
at the show feeling somewhat like a split personality... but we were
both feeling fine! LOL! I had decided on an outfit I thought looked
attractive without being too slutty, but I suppose that's debatable and
relative! I wore a half shirt, white with tassels around my ribs with
rhinestones. Remember this was the 80's and people were into the
tassels and fringe and Bon Jovi sort of "cowboy" look. I had
on a jacket that was black with some sort of design in the fabric. It
was short in the front and had long "tails" in the back. I had on a
matching miniskirt so tight that I thought, "I hope I don't have to sit
In the south,
we have some unwritten code of dress where you are supposedly allowed
to show some leg, show a lot of skin on your stomach and shoulders and
back but you NEVER show cleavage and you never show the cheeks of your
ass! LOL! SO, I didn't break any rules, but one thing I couldn't resist
was a good old fashioned pair of "Come F*** me pumps!" My shoes were
ankle boots and they were white leather with tassels on the side that
matched my shirt and a heel high enough to work my calves out better
than Billy Blanks' Tae Bo! I am 5'2" but I swear I must have
been about 6'3 in 1987 between the pumps and the can of hairspray and "Thick
Stuff" and "Stiff Stuff" and mile high hair!
SO, as I
walked into the arena I thought, "OK... stay focused" and all of a
sudden I FREAKED OUT thinking, "WHAT AM I DOING?" I went to the
bathroom for a nervous breakdown and emerged thinking, "GET A GRIP." I
no longer had sweaty palms and a racing heart because I was FINALLY
calm in the decision of what I had come here to do! "Nikki, Nikki,
Nikki." I held my head high and marched to the floor on my mission. The
show was great. (Big surprise) LOL! I had been thinking of which "plan"
I would use to get backstage.
again, the actions I took next were UNHEARD OF for me. I was a person
who IF I told my parents a white lie about ANYTHING, I couldn't fall
asleep at night until I knocked on their bedroom door and spilled my
guts. BUT...I had Nikki Neurosis! LOL! I was prepared to lie, cheat,
steal, and step over the dead bodies on my way to Nikki. WELL, maybe I
wasn't THAT bad, but I certainly felt like I was headed for the
I saw a
security guard and I told him how my friends had gotten backstage
passes and left me out here "all alone." Boo Hoo... Woe is me! I was
saying, "How could they go back and leave me, they're my ride home?
What kind of friends are they to leave me out here all alone?" I even
managed to shed a few tears to win my Oscar! The guy left and
went to talk to someone and came back with a pass. I stayed "in
character" and asked the security guard if he would walk me back
because I was scared to go back alone. I didn't want to just grab the
pass and run the 50-yard dash! (Although I felt like it)
security guard escorted me backstage and I saw a group of people
talking to Nikki and I said, "There they are, my friends, thank you" to
the security guard and I walked over and started talking to these
people who I didn't know from Adam and the security guard left. A swarm
of people came around Nikki for autographs and pictures so I waited
patiently. I had waited 2 years, what's another 10 minutes? LOL! I
waited my turn and introduced myself to Nikki and we started talking
about the show and the demands of a tour and people were still being
shuffled through like cattle.
I would move
out of the way while people came up for pictures and autographs and
then talk to Nikki more. I took pictures for people and handed the
camera back to them. Nikki said that was cool of me to do that. Nikki
and I would talk and then people would come up and I'd back away and he
grabbed me by the wrist to pull me back. He kept grabbing my wrist over
and over and over to keep me where we could talk between autographs. We
talked about differences in culture and my accent. He would tell me to
say words that I said "different." He would say, "Say purple...say
lion...say..." and would laugh every time I said something in a thick
southern accent I asked if the circus act was getting a pay check for
my efforts? He laughed. I felt like I had completed half of my mission
by capturing Nikki's attention, but I hadn't fulfilled my entire
kept wondering how long Nikki would keep talking to me. Would he invite
me to his hotel? Are they staying in town tonight? Or are they heading
out for the next gig? Should I tell him I'll see him at the next show
and wait for his reaction? Is my time with Nikki almost over… or just
beginning? I had a million things running through my head. I was happy
to be talking to Nikki but looked around at all of the girls who WERE
showing cleavage and ass cheeks and thought, "I don't stand a chance!"
questions were silenced when Nikki asked me to come to the hotel. This
WAS what I had waited for, this IS what I had wanted. This WAS my
MISSION... BUT all of a sudden I had this feeling drain through me. "IF
I went to the hotel with Nikki and lost my virginity...he would kick me
out in the morning… IF I got to stay THAT LONG. He'd never call or
write and wouldn't remember my name and I would be just a F*** to him
and ‘one of the many.’ I wouldn't mean anything to him!” Part of me
wanted to climb on him and apply myself like "red on a fire truck" but
I KNEW that it just wasn't me. So, as my heart sank to my feet I said
to Nikki, "No thank you, I'm not THAT kind of girl!"
in a really smart-assed tone, "Well then, what in the F*** are you
doing backstage then? Call me when you grow up, Little Girl!" That
pissed me off because it reminded me of how my friends talked to me and
I thought "OH NO. You DIDN'T just go there" and I went off on Nikki and
spouted, "I don't give a shit who you are or who in the F*** you THINK
you are, but I don't care if I'm 17 or 47, I'm still going to have
morals and that's more than I can say for you and your pissy attitude!"
Everyone around was like "Damn, did you hear THAT?" Nikki was smiling
and I was thinking, "What in the hell do you think is so funny?" and I
asked, "Is this AMUSING YOU, NIKKI?"
Nikki put his
hands on my shoulders and looked at me and said, "OK, let's start over,
calm down, rewind. Let's start at the beginning. If you act like a
lady, I'll treat you like a lady and if you act like a slut, I'll treat
you like a slut!" I laughed and said, "Oh Nikki, you're so cliché. I
heard you say that EXACT quote in some magazine! Try something
original!" Nikki apologized and said how, "Being NIKKI SIXX and all,
that he was USED TO ‘certain things’” and I told him that we have a
saying in the south... "Never ASSUME because you make an ASS out of U
and ME!" He cracked up and said, "OK, you don't have to be worried
about being ALONE with me. There will be a bunch of us partying at the
hotel. You'll be safe. Wanna come to the hotel?" And I jokingly said,
"OH, a BUNCH of people? So it's an orgy then?" LOL! And he started
laughing and said, "C'mon, let's go" and I said, "Lead the way!"
Chapter 3 - Sex, Drugs and Rock and
See you then,
Previous: Chapter 1
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