E-mail me at collinsb@ozemail.com.au
RAGS TO RICHES - A FAIRYTALEThe end: elevation from the misery of her parlourmaid's existence. The means: her two thousand pounds prizemoney. In the plush hotel room, she remembered countless dark mornings, and 'that infernal screeching music' upstairs. Beside her late-sleeping figure lay that old violin and her alarm clock - both happily smashed to pieces. |
THE NEW MANAGING DIRECTORIt was no surprise that Lloyd had been offered the job. Flames danced through ballooned Cognac. Their armchairs softly yielded to forms expanded by the evening's excesses of food and wine. Sir Eustace rang for his chauffeur and started for the door.Pleasantries exchanged, the young man added "Goodnight, dad." |
INDULGENCEA slither of first light strikes his closed lids. Blinking, he half-wakes amid blurred, candle-lit memories of red velvet and starched white tables. Images crystallise of bubbly glasses and fireside laughter. Culinary perfection, complemented by the best vintage wine.He rises into his cold room to type the next chapter. |
NEVER MARRY A PATHOLOGISTThe divorce was for Edward a Pyrrhic victory. She had wheedled all their possessions - but he still had Catherine. Lost time. Their still-blossoming love excitingly fresh.He stared uncomprehendingly at her suicide note. The vaguely familiar writing on the forged biopsy report suddenly jolted him. She had now taken everything... |
TAKE ME TO ...The pilot's first reaction was anger. Anger at airport security. Then fear - for his life. The hostess had calmly told him there was a hijacker on board. "Wh- what do they want?" he asked, unable to even sweat. "We want this plane." she replied, with a gun at his head. |
THE HITCH-HIKER'S GUIDE TO LOVE ON THE ROADIn his attempt to hitch a ride, Derek was plumbing new depths in coarse language. Through the dark rain, the saviour appeared - warm, dry, female, and very fast. The road swerved. Unfortunately, the split-second that 'seat-belt' echoed in Derek's mind was not really long enough for him to replace it. |
ONE DOZEN LONG-STEMMED ROSESThe note ended "from a secret admirer." Smiling, her mind searched furtively through her circle of casual lovers. Several possibilities. One certainty. Yes - Noosa last year. Gloria's eyes closed around a fantasy starkly interrupted by her doorbell. 'The starer' from the office...Nervous smile again mistaken for friendliness. ...then panic |
THE ULTIMATE TECHNOLOGICAL ADVANCEA nation waited, speechless. Press were informed of new developments. "Our secret computer links with Moscow have detected a major nuclear offensive against us. We had no option but launch warheads into Russian territory.Four minutes and counting. Prepare for war." A hungry soviet mouse continued chewing into the wires. |
PRETTY HIGH-POWERED STUFF...The assistant was explaining. "With this microscope, we can look ten thousand times closer than ever before. Inside the nucleus of a single atom." he told waiting press. The eminent professor - privileged first observer - cried out, aghast. "What did you see?" they asked."...a-another universe," he stammered, "...just like ours." |
WHAT DID I DO?He thought she was utterly lovely. She seemed to reciprocate. They went out, laughed, gazed, talked.See ya.
He met her on his way to the laundromat.
"Come around later?"
His world again collapsed. |
NOISY NEIGHBORSThe apartment was perfect, just what she wanted. Then the parties started next door: she tolerated them. They became frequent. Friends told her to move; she was always complaining.Instead, with great sadness she open-fired on the wedding next door. At least there won't be live bands at the asylum. |
HONEYMOON"I'll stay in the boat, but don't worry, dear, the water's safe as can be," said Samantha's new husband.Samantha felt the waves rocking beneath her surfboard. Her arm trailed in the cool water. Suddenly, pain as the shark bit away her midsection. "Well done," said her husband as he closed the now empty tank. |
(note: You're probably counting the words, so I better add that this is actually a 55-word story.
The story was written as part of Elanor's classwork.)
The Make-up ArtistHer nails shone with purple nailpolish. She was so proud of those nails; they’d taken ages to do right.Her eyes were lined with kohl and her face powdered white. Her lips were painted blood red. The makeup artist packed on foundation to cover the slit at the corpses throat. |
Temptation Reigns Again‘No’ she screamed, ‘stay away! I don’t want to! I don’t!’ ‘Come on,’ he replied ‘you know you want to. You’ll enjoy it, I promise.’ ‘No!’ she shrieked.But the temptation was too strong. Finally, she handed over the dollar coin for the chocolate bar. The calories had won again. |
Cowboy AnticsThe horse was galloping too fast. Suddenly, it shied. He clung to the saddle for dear life, the increase of pressure startled the horse, and it bucked, trying to get rid of its discomfort. As he started to fall off, the horse stopped.He stood and inserted another forty cents. |
NEVER AGAIN!!Rushing, panting, dragging heels, Time was pressing on.Perspiring, oblivious to the stranger's attention Lurking ominously close Must hurry - footsteps quicken behind, Past dark alleyways, perfect places Thud! Two stabs - neck and heart - limp body falls blood-stained knife glistens in the moonlight Cut! Nice! Again Please!! Action!! |
(note: 47 words)
(no title)You made it this far. Cross now, before they see you. Run now; they'll not hit you. Look out for the rocks or your feet'll be torn. Dive into the bushes; mind the thorns. Breathe quietly or they'll hear you. Stamp out your breath; they're near you. You're here. |
(no title)He died the day before. She wept into the sand as they lowered the body in. She keened against the wind as the coffin neared its place. She pulled on her hair and beseeched the god she knew. He pulled her to her feet and she stumbled to her home. |
(no title)"You should jam the door closed. Look at the floor. There's water all over it. It'll take me hours to mop that up. It's gone through to the other room and wrecked the carpet". "Well, you should buy a better washer. I've got to go to work. See you tonight". |
(no title)Five more years and I won't have to be in anyone's shade. No more mere whispers of wind or snippets of sunshine. It'll be me breathing in the fiercest of gales and basking in the glory of blazing light. Oh hurry, chainsaw, and rid me of the arboreal cramper alongside. |
LEGLESS!!Shackles weighed heavy on Harold's intoxicated mind,And his tired, wet, weary frame, Up to his neck in it - literally, He struggled for air, From out of the murk, he felt something brush his legs, What was it? He bragged he would be totally legless tonight? He was half-right!! |
(note: 49 words)
Change of Heart"Actually, I’d rather burn my own words than let you read them."And with that, I struck a match, lit a corner of the letter and watched the lingering flames devour my heartfelt apology. Then slowly I turned and walked away, leaving it to smoulder there on the damp grass. |
Alice's AngelAlice's birthday, ten, and the angel. She knew it was an angel. No-one would believe her. Best not to say anything.Never forgot the light, and it was tall, eight, maybe nine feet. Now it was back, after all those years, such a long time. Best not to say anything. |
Lifeless at heartTwo years had passed since the last human contact.The boy peered out into the vast open land. A sparkle of light crossed his eye, he ran towards it on the scorching terrain. "Wait, wait!" It was too late, the light faded, leaving nothing ...but a soul, lying lifelessly for eternity. |
(note: 51 words)
MOTHER-IN-LAWA man was invited for dinner by his mother-in-law. He thought that she wanted to poison him. When she left the room he gave a little soup to her cat, which fainted. When she came back he threw her through the window. The cat got up and said:'At last!' |
My Perfect Holiday!I was on a desert island, the weather was beautiful. I was eating good food. I was swimming in the sea. Nobody spoke to me. I didn't hear anything - it was excellent! Suddenly I noticed that I was not alone. The travel agency had organized a trip for the loudest. |
A Ghost31st of October was coming. Frank decided to dress up as a ghost. His fancy dress was very good, so he was sure that everybody would be scared. That day, when he was walking through the park, he saw a skeleton and screamed. The skeleton was his best friend, Mark. |
Drowning OtyliaA woman in the ocean was screaming - 'help!!!'Everybody on the ship thought she had fall overboard. All the sailors wanted to be a hero, so they started the rescue. The water was so cold, that all of them drowned. The only one who survived was the Olympic winner - Otylia. |
WILDLIFE IN THE BARA man walked into a noisy bar with his ferocious pet tiger. He asked the bartender politely, "Do you serve Englishmen here? "Of course we do sir," the bar tender replied. Then get me one cold beer and an Englishmen for my pet tiger, the man replied with a smile. |
Balloon TroubleTen men were hanging on a rope from a hot air balloon. They pondered and asked who would bravely jump off. One man shouted that he would risk his life to save others. He gave a heart warming speech and after that, the nine other men clapped. One Man survived. |
HobbiesHe hated doing things that he didn't like. Like homework, or mundane trainings where everyone else was his inferior.But he liked this. He liked the way skin split under his blade, blood surfacing in a thin line, then guts pouring out. It was comforting to do something he liked. |
Diet (deceased)The Chocolate Relish with double cream and fresh cherries glinted invitingly."May I help you ma’am?" the waiter asks. No! Think instead of crisp green romaine lettuce with red juicy tomatoes and a drizzle of light olive oil... Against my will I pointed. Oh well. At least it’s got cherries. |
SNAP!!!!!An intense feeling surged through his body, time was running out... he wanted to run for his life but something was stopping him...... his feet refused movement and his eyes were fixed on the spot in front of him. His heartbeat fastened...... SNAP!!!......"Thank you sir...... nice photo!!" |
(note: 48 words)
The TunnelI had been walking for ages. The tunnel was getting darker and my light had gone out. I tryed to go back the way i had came, but i couldn't find my way. My foot slipped and I fell into a deep hole. I heard strange noises. What were they...? |
Hold on TightShe was strapped in. Palms sweating- from up above the rumbling of an engine echoed. A quick jolt and she was off. Images flashed before her, trees and rocks surrounded her. It all went black - a scream could be heard. She stood up and calmly walked out of the simulator. |
(no title)Cleaning again, I placed the needle on the record and began to dance, soggy mop in hand. The actors had vanished. As I swung the stage door open, I waltzed around with my flamboyant pink feather duster, very showbiz! A pirouette, a startled gasp; I had received a standing ovation. |
The OrdealHe stood petrified, backed against the wall contemplating his fate that drew closer. The ritual archaic bell rung and it was inevitable. The rumble of footsteps...cackling...shreiking rang in his ears. He was a prisoner in his own domain. Bravely he dared to speak "Right quiet! Books out, please!" |
The never ending roadIt was a bright day and her heartbeat was growing faster.She was nervous about the long walk ahead. She looked like an angel and the look in his eyes lifted her heart and caught her stomach, and she knew this was the moment to say the the words ... "I DO" |
Apocalypse HomerBart was attempting a jump on his skateboard over a bottomless pit, but he disappeared. Marge was cleaning when she left her hoover to pick something up, but she disappeared. Homer checked on his daughter. Lisa checked her weather station when she fell with Homer, D'oh, but where was Maggie? |
Into The FireThe cry that issued from the fiery column was enough to scare the s*** out of any man, and it had the same effect on Sam. He felt like turning back and running home to safety, but he had a mission, so he walked into the column and was engulfed. |
The Reckless MurderThick flesh, still warm, blood dripping through his fingers. The smell of rotting corpses escaping from the bin beside him. The blade glints in the light seeping through the holes in the stale curtains.Time was running out, John was coming to pick up his steak at 4. |
Oops!As he stood by the burning building, empty can of gasoline in hand, he couldn't help but wonder why the numbers on the mailbox were wrong. The man had paid him to burn 1434 Rosemary. Or was it the one across the street? "I'd better get more gasoline," he thought. |
NothingNothing? But what is nothing..The conversation went for hours, about totally nothing. Alcohol, whata great drink, but is it nothing? 3000 mind-boggling, overwhelming words, pictures, but the intension is totally nothing. Long nights and late days but no answer to nothing Dirty rooms from everything to nothing. |
IT NEVER ENTERED HIS MIND - OR DID IT?It never entered his mind, not even for a moment,Other people never seem to have any trouble The samurai blade was a present from a dear friend DIY wasn't his forte, a couple of nails would do Or would they, as the sword fell and finally entered his mind! |
The HunterI cleaned my shotgun, thinking about my newest animal trophy; a bear who wanted to eat hunny, rather than the piglett or rabbit with him. It doesn't matter now, though, for I had bagged all three.However...they must've been something special, otherwise Christopher Robin wouldn't have cried so much. |
Glistening SunAs I paddle out through the break, the beauty of the day sets in. As I'm waiting for the perfect wave, I look at my bracelet glistening in the sun. I look behind for a wave. Then turn back with a sharp pain, no arm but a pool of blood. |
WeddingThe day has finally come that I will walk my beautiful daughter down the isle. As we walk together, I see a tear beginning to form as she sees her husband to be. She reaches the alter I see that my daughter is in good hands. The beauty of love. |
EvolutionShe, glowingly nubile, was the office siren. She was stunned when he, an overweight ogre, asked her out. Her "No thank you" meant "Get lost, creep".And he knew it. He said, "Sorry to offend, but why shouldn't my hormones be programmed just like Brad Pitt's?" She could only shrug. |
Winter BluesJesse was skating down the street one winter's afternoon. He was alone.All of a sudden a car drives out in front of him. He's throwen over the bonnet. He hits the ground, arms and legs twisted. he goes out of concisness. I step out of the car and smile. |
Jim and BettyBetty was bigger than Jim.Betty nagged Jim. Jim couldn't take it any more. Betty was nagging Jim again. Jim thought how can I stop her, I have to stop her. Jim walked over to Betty. Betty pointed her finger at him she was laying it on. It's quite now. |
(untitled)As I looked across the frozen pond, I noticed a log cabin, almost obscured by the snow. I wondered how it would be, inside, next to the fire, popcorn popping and cider in my hands. Then, I looked away from the painting, it's still Arizona and one hundred and fifteen. |
(untitled)Jamie was terrified of dogs.He felt his heart jump into his throat, he walked in the door, there was a puppy that looked and wagged his tail. Tonight would be a long night for Jamie; he was tired in the morning. Where’s buddy? Buried in the garden mumbled Jamie. |
Torture ChamberSitting for hours while my bottom goes numb.Trying to breathe in as little as possible. The smell is nauseating. The lights so bright I feel a sunburn coming on. I am so scared. Slowly I'm turned around. Gasp! I labor for breath, screaming inside. Another bad perm. |
Brave Heart"Proof of a matriarchal society, with restrictive dress codes!" cried the archeologist, examining the ancient twenty-first century temple. "Note the plaque:""ENTER ONLY IF YOU HAVE A BRA..." "Wait!" cautioned the intern, brushing away caked-on dust. "ENTER ONLY IF YOU HAVE A BRAVE HEART AND AN OPEN MIND" |
Story of EdThere was a man named Ed. His story is short but well said. I'll tell the story of Ed. As well as his friend called Fred. Ed was nicer than Fred. Fred got jealous of Ed, his anger made him red. Next day he confronted Ed. Now Ed is dead. |
E-mail me at collinsb@ozemail.com.au