Professor Quirrell Goes tothe Medi-Wizard
A Turban Inspired Thing

by Bernice

“I have this… er… p p p p p roblem.” Quirrell sat in the medi-wizard’s office, wringing his hands.

“Of course you do, that’s why everyone comes here. What can I do to help?” said the jolly, portly wizard.

“Well… it’s a p p p p p problem of a…” sotto voce “p p p p p ersonal nature.”

“Ah, trouble with the water works. Not to worry. Whip it out and let’s have a look.”

“N n n n n no, other end. It’s… under my t t t t turban.”

“Well, unwind it, and let me see.”

Quirrell very slowly, with a look of utter mortification on his face, unwound the turban, then turned around to show the problem to the medi-wizard.

The ‘problem’ cursed and spat at the medi-wizard in a fury.

“Ah, I see what the problem is!” said the medi wizard. “You’ve got a nasty lump there.”

“Yes, he’s very n n n n n n nasty.”

“You need this, Daisy Lumpins ‘Dark-Lord-B-Gone’. Apply topically to the site of the infestation, in this case, to your scalp, three times a day, and within two weeks, you should be clear of all signs of infection.”

“Oh, thank you, D d d d d d doctor! Do you think my hair will g g g g g g g grow b b b b back?”

“That I don’t know. See a Dark Lord infection is a bit like tinea. Sometimes the skin heals enough to let your hair grow back, but sometimes you’ll have a scar all your life. Have you ever had ringworm? It’s a bit like that.”

“Oh well. B b b b b b better than nothing. I c c c c c c can’t wait for this stuff to work, he keeps telling me to kill people, and the itch has b b b b b b b been driving me c c c c c crazy!”