A Nice Cup of Tea and a Lie Down
With thanks to dphearson,
potterwitch (for accent
checking), and ntamara and someone else from
the snapesupport chat
room, possibly millefiore but I could be
"I don't know how to trust anymore, Hagrid," Harry said, staring morosely at the
bucket-sized mug of tea Hagrid had placed in front of him. He'd had to come to Hagrid for
a bit of tea and sympathy this morning, he felt like his whole world had shifted on its
"Yeh, it can be right tricky, knowin' who's on yer side, and who's on His."
"But Remus, Hagrid. Why Remus of all people? I thought he was on our side. I thought
he was my friend. I thought he... I can't believe he turned out to be a spy for
Voldemort." Harry couldn't keep his voice from wavering.
"Yeh, I reckon that were a hard one ter find out. He's a nice man, Professor
"Nice? He's not nice! He's one of them!"
"Well, jus' cause he's working for He Who Must Not Be Named don't mean he's not nice.
Yeh don't necessarily know the whole story there, Harry. Yeh don't know why he
"Why, do you?" Harry said petulantly, morosely dunking one of Hagrid's rock hard
biscuits in his tea.
"I reckon it's all a matter o' rights, Harry. Yeh have ter understand. The Ministry,
they hate werewolves. They wouldn't let him work. If yeh can't earn a livin' then yeh
can't eat. Can't get shelter, or clothin'. The Ministry took away all his dignity as a
man, an' all his rights as a person."
"But Dumbledore let him have a job!"
"Only when he couldn't get anyone else ter do the job. He hired that daft Lockhart
chap over Professor Lupin. That had ter hurt."
"But we would have changed things!"
"Me. And Dumbledore. When we won the war!"
"Against the Ministry, yeh mean, Harry? We aren't fighting the Ministry."
"No, against Voldemort!"
"He Who Must Not Be Named is promisin' rights ter werewolves, though, Harry. That's
the problem. Dumbledore can't promise that, not unless he overthrows the entire
government, and even he can't do that. He Who Must Not Be Named is already givin' 'em
paying jobs. Houses. Protection. Hunger an' cold'll make a man do a lot o' things,
shameful things, even against those he loves."
"I still can't believe he turned on us."
"I don't think he thought he had a choice, Harry." Hagrid's face was crumbled;
he looked older than his years. Sad and defeated. "He wants a life, a chance at a bit
o' happiness, an' only Voldemort was promising ter give him that."
"I suppose..." Harry could understand what Hagrid was telling him, but it didn't
make the awful pain inside him any better. "I wish he'd been killed instead, Hagrid.
I wish he'd died, like Sirius, so I wouldn't have to stop loving him."
"That's a terrible thing ter say, Harry, yeh don't mean that!" Hagrid looked at
"No... but it means I might have to... to kill him," Harry finished off at a
whisper. "One day." Harry drank his tea, letting the hot brew warm him from the
inside, as he was warmed by Hagrid's company.
"It won't come ter that, Harry. You'll see. It won't come ter that."
"Of all people, though." Harry couldn't leave it alone. "I always thought
"Oh there yeh go again, blaming Professor Snape." Hagrid grinned at him, and
Harry picked up on the deliberate attempt to lighten the mood.
"Can you blame me, Hagrid?" Harry returned his grin with a watery one of his
own. "I mean, of all people, Snape's the closest to Voldemort, isn't he. He's the
most likely to be playing both sides."
"Praps. But yeh shouldn't be so quick ter condemn Professor Snape. Him an'
Dumbledore, they're the only ones yeh can really trust. Oh, and the Weasleys."
Hagrid didn't reply, he just drank his own tea, his face pale and strained.
"Hagrid? And you?"
"Well, there's the thing, Harry. Yeh see, the Dark Lord... he's promised land rights
"What?" Harry felt his blood turn to ice.
"The Ministry, they want ter kill me! They want ter kill all my kind," Hagrid
blurted, looking like he was about to burst into tears. "They want ter kill all my
family and they've put me in Azkaban twice, just fer bein'! Yeh don't know what it's like,
Harry, ter have 'em always lookin' for ways ter get rid o' yeh, jus' fer what yeh
"Hagrid?" Harry whispered.
"I'm so sorry, Harry. I love yeh, I do, yer a nice lad, but there's nothin' yeh can
do fer me. Even if Dumbledore wins this war, he can't give me a place o'me own. Only this
horrible little shack, an' living on his charity. I'll always be lookin' over me shoulder,
waitin' for them ter come ter get me again. I can't live like that anymore."
"What have you done, Hagrid."
"I've poisoned yer tea."
"You've what?" Harry looked down at the huge mug of tea he had in his hands,
nearly empty, strong, over sugared.
"I've poisoned yer tea, Harry. I'm so sorry, but I had ter. The Dark Lord has
promised me civil rights. All giants an' half giants. Me and Olympe, an' our little ones.
We'll be able ter have our own land, an' live in peace."
"And you believe him?"
"I don't have a choice, Harry? The Ministry, they'd kill me soon as spit on me."
"So you've... you've killed me?" Harry couldn't raise a sense of fear. His legs
wouldn't lift him when he tried to stand up, and his arms were weak when he made to go for
"It won't hurt yeh, Harry. I made sure o' that. Yeh'll jus' lie down an' go ter
sleep. It's painless, I'd never hurt you."
"You'd just kill me," Harry repeated.
"Jus' a couple o' drops of this green stuff in yer tea," Hagrid pulled a small
vial out of one of his many pockets and brushed the crumbs off it, "And yeh'll go
quietly ter sleep. It'll be real easy, Harry."
Harry looked at Hagrid, still unable to believe what he was hearing. Hagrid had been his
first friend, someone he trusted above all others, even more than he'd trusted Dumbledore.
Huge tears rolled down Hagrid's face, disappearing into his matted beard. He blew his nose
noisily on his huge spotted hanky.
"Course," Hagrid continued, "if Professor Snape finds out, he'll prob'ly
kill me, so I'll have ter find a way ter make it look like an accident. Or maybe I'll jus'
feed yeh to some o' me lovelies."
Harry's tongue was getting numb. It was hard to talk. "You're going to feed me to
"Well, waste not, want not. Besides, it won't be like yer dead then, will it? I'll
feed yeh to the hippogriffs. Yeh always liked them, didn't yeh?" Hagrid suddenly
beamed, as if he was doing Harry a favour. "It'll be like yer not gone, then."
"I'll be still around as hippogriff shit, you mean."
"Yeh make it sound awful when yeh say it like that, Harry." Hagrid's smile
faded. "I'll feed yeh ter somethin' nice, honest. Yeh won't go ter waste."
"Oh... thas juss great," Harry slurred. He was going to die, killed by the one
person he trusted the most, or at least didn't think had the wherewithal to kill him, then
get chopped up as monster food.
"I really am very sorry, Harry. I'll name one o'me kids after yeh, if that'll
help?" Hagrid's voice came from a great distance, and Harry thought, as he rested his
head on the table, at least he hadn't been lying, there was no pain and it really was
quite peaceful. Just like going to sleep.
As he drifted away, he could hear Hagrid's voice fading away, "Now, where's that
green stuff. Got tea with the Headmaster this afternoon. Great man, Dumbledore, loves his