Joyeux Noel: Peas on Earth.
This is just another of Luthors attempts
to get closer to Clark, Pete thought to himself as he gave the fancy restaurant the hairy
eyeball. Sure, the girls were falling for it, particularly Lana who was entranced by the
fine linens and tuxedoed waiters. Even Whitney was looking impressed and maybe a little
intimidated by how classy the joint was, though Pete knew hed used the wrong fork at
Pete, on the other hand, wasnt impressed. You didnt grow up the son of a judge
and not spend time in pompous, self-important company and over-the-top, over priced eating
establishments. Theyd never impressed Pete, though, and now he just thought it was
pathetic. This was Luthors idea of Christmas? A fancy dinner in a restaurant? He had
no idea at all.
Luthor was just trying, once again, to impress Clark and wheedle his way into Clarks
company by imposing himself on Clarks friends. But Pete wasnt going to give in
he refused to be impressed by all the money and cars. He knew what a bastard any
Luthor could be, and hed never trust that bald freak.
Pete had overheard one of Clarks defences of Luthor, a few months ago, when the
phrase best friend had been bandied about. It had felt like a punch in the
Pete was Clarks best friend, and he should know it! Theyd grown up together,
gone to school together, mooned over girls together, and Pete had been there from the
beginning, when Clark had first turned up at school in short pants, speaking almost no
English, and eating playground dirt. Pete had shown Clark where the best dirt was to be
Pete grinned when the main meal was served. Thin slivers of turkey, far too tiny to be a
good Christmas spread - there would be no second or third helpings so Clark would be
hungry afterwards - with a range of crisp vegetables
and a pile of tiny, new baby
Clark was staring at his plate in horror; glaring at the pile of hideous green was the
dreaded peas of death. Pete and Clark had long ago bonded over their mutual
hatred of evil peas.
Pete smirked, a smirk that would have been worthy of a Luthor. Now theyd see who was
Clarks best friend. The one who made him eat peas in a fancy restaurant, or the one
who agreed they were vile! Clark wouldnt even eat anything that was on his plate
near a pea!
Luthor reached over and took Clarks plate, wordlessly scraping the peas onto his own
and replacing Clarks peas with Luthors mashed potato, before handing it back.
He ignored the raised eyebrows of the overly attentive wait staff and nodded to
acknowledge Clark's blinding smile.
Pete knew hed lost.
Story note: If you didn't know, there's an episode which mentions twice how much Clark
Personal note: I love peas, and their tiny green poppy goodness, but one of my nephews,
Bill, hated them with a passion. His father would slap his face if Bill refused to eat
peas, then Bill would cry (he was only little), then I would cry (I'm only a year older
than Bill), then the other kids would start to cry it would be such a horrible
meal, and my sister ALWAYS made peas. So as soon as dinner was served I would immediately
steal Bill's peas and give him my horrid mashed potato. Peace would rule.