by Bernice

Fandom: Smallville
Pairing: Lex Luthor/Amy Palmer (unresolved Lex/Clark)
Rating: Adult, het fic

This story answers the challenge read at the end – major spoiler. 

NOTE: For those that don't remember, Amy Palmer was played by Azura Sky in the episode Shimmer and her brother was the one who invented Kryptonite rose based invisibility cream. He was going invisible to drive away Lex's girlfriends so Amy could have Lex. Amy created a shrine to Lex in her room.

"Dear Lex,

I'm sorry if this seems weird or inappropriate, but I've done the right thing and stayed away from you for many years, but I think I owe you this letter. 

I know it was you that paid for my scholarship, even though you made it look totally official. Let's face it, we both know that I was never focussed on my studies enough back in high school to have earned a scholarship the real way. I've always known it was you, but I've respected your wishes enough to keep my distance. 

I have done everything I could to earn the scholarship, though, once I realised how it came about. I've studied hard in every class and done my best in every exam and I've taken enough extra classes that I even finished my degree early. You probably already know, but I earned a place in a pretty good law school, and at this rate I think I'll be sitting the Bar Exams in record time! You won't even need to pay for it, although I think you would, if I asked. 

Jeff (my brother) is doing well. Once all those weird chemicals passed out of his system (I know you got the reports) he really got himself together. He's studying hard, too, and it won't surprise you to learn he's going to be a chemist. He was always good at those kinds of things, even as a kid. He has always regretted what happened back in Smallville, but he knows better than to try to apologise in person. 

Mom is also doing well, although you probably know that. I know you were responsible for finding her such a good job when my brother and I forced you to send us away. She probably already said this, but thanks again for not taking out a restraining order against me. I know I totally deserved it, what with the shrine and everything, but it would have made things very hard for me to be taken seriously as a lawyer, and other than my obsession with you, I'm a pretty good person. Yes, even if I do say so myself. 

It's been a long time, but I still want to say how sorry I am. Not for loving you, because I've never regretted that, but for taking your watch. You may not believe me, but I always intended to return it – actually I meant to return it before you even noticed it missing. I just wanted to feel close to you, and wearing that watch when I knew it meant so much to you, it felt like I could just draw all of the 'Lexness' out of it. Or something. I was pretty much in love with you in the way that only a fifteen year old girl with a huge crush can be. That weird mix of hero worship, obsession, hormones and Hello Kitty that some girls have – it was either going to be you or The Back Street Boys. I never intended to be so creepy about it, but hindsight is 20/20, right?

Anyway, I’m not sure even why I'm writing all of this. You probably don't even remember me now. Well, no, I know you would remember, but you wouldn't think about me. I just wanted to say thank you. I'm graduating this Friday. Thank you for making that possible.

I won't contact you again, because that's getting into that whole unfortunate stalker business again, and we both know where that leads!

Love, always. 
Amy Palmer.

Lex had only read the letter because the envelope had a Metropolis University logo, and it could have been something from one of the staff there that he'd hired to keep an eye on Clark. His assistant knew to pass them along unopened. 

There had always been a twinge of guilt whenever he'd thought of Amy, although he could never really pin down why. He'd never encouraged her infatuation, nor had he sought revenge for the attacks from her brother. But he had seen her heart breaking when he'd watched the family drive away. "I just wanted to feel close you," she'd said back then, and again in her letter, and Lex understood what that was like. He knew just what it was like to want, and not have, and he'd never held it against her. She was a little weird, but if there was one thing Lex understood, it was weird.

He ran a finger over the date of the letter, got up, grabbed his coat, and told his assistant he would be out for the day. Since Metropolis's vigilante troop, led by the execrable Green Arrow and his sidekicks had just blown up one of his latest obsessions, he had time on his hands. Perhaps this was one bridge he could mend. On the other hand, knowing his luck with people, this could be the last person in the world who had genuinely liked him, and he would destroy that also.


She was still somewhere between 'pretty' and 'funny looking', but she hadn't changed that much. Her hair was dark now - the bleached blonde of her youth covered up with a dark chestnut dye. She still had her big black stomping boots. Her clothes were mostly black, and with the dark hair and eye-liner she was in danger of becoming a Goth. She made it look cute and quirky, though, rather than pretentious and juvenile. She'd have to ditch the boots if she wanted to be taken seriously in her career choices, but she was still young enough to get away with it. 

She stomped her way across the stage, beaming, to get her certificate. Her hat was on the wrong angle, but then most of the graduates were the same. No one had dressed up. "Kids these days," Lex muttered to himself, knowing he sounded old. 

Lex lurked at the back of the auditorium, his back to the wall, ignoring the occasional surprised glance from people who recognised him. He rarely went out in public anymore, at least not without a body guard, but he knew he'd have a little time before the paparazzi caught up with him.

When the ceremony was nearly over, he turned to leave, but stopped when he heard his name called. Her voice was just as breathy and little girl-esque as it had been when she'd been a teenager. It sounded even stranger now that she was a woman.

"Lex," she said again, her voice a mixture of joy and disbelief. "I didn't think you'd come here, I…" she choked off. 

"I thought I'd come and give my congratulations on-" he was cut off as she launched herself at him, arms around his middle, squeezing him tight.

"Oh, I’m so happy to see you!" she said, squeezing so tight it was almost painful. "I didn't think you'd come here today. I didn't mean to make you come here, I mean, if you that that letter was…" she stepped away a bit, although she held the lapels of his jacket in both hands.

"No, nothing like that. It's been a long time and I thought I should come and say congratulations. I'm glad the scholarship helped, and that you did so much with it."

"Oh, yes. Knowing you'd done that, after everything my brother and I did to you, it really meant a lot. I had to do everything I could to earn it. You look really great, Lex. You haven't changed at all."

"You have. What's with the dark hair?" he tugged gently on a lock, teasing her like he would have done a younger sister.

"Oh, you know, trying to look a bit more grown up. All that bleaching wasn't helping. It's more… sophisticated, don’t you think?" she said, only holding his jacket with one hand so she could twirl a bit of hair coquettishly, winking at him in a knowing way. 

"Looks good. Anyway, Amy, I'm glad you're doing well. I have to-"

"Stay a while. My friends and I were going to the bar to celebrate. Come have a drink with us. They'd love to meet you." She linked her arm with his and started walking, almost dragging him along.

Sure, Lex thought, everyone loved to meet his wallet. "I really can't, Amy. I just wanted to-" 

"I've changed my mind about going out. Come in here for a minute," she said, as she pulled him into an empty class room and pushed him against the wall by the door.

"What are you doing, Amy?" He didn't want to sound nervous, but everyone he'd ever known had tried to kill him at some point or other and he knew to never underestimate a woman, even one who talked like a little girl and wore a tiny black mini-skirt.

"Something I was never brave enough to do when I was a teenager. I might never see you again after today, Lex. I'm going to do something I dreamed about every day and every night of my teenage years. If there's one thing I've learned, it's to take those opportunities when fate hands them out. There's no such thing as second chances."

She grabbed his face in both hands and moved in, slow enough that he could have pulled away if he'd really wanted to, but he didn't. She'd loved him, he remembered. Really loved him. Not for his money or his power or… maybe a bit for what the money had represented, but she'd still really loved him. 

So he let her. She didn't kiss like a little girl; she kissed with heat and passion. She held his face like a starving man would grab a cheeseburger and chewed his lips with hers, licked and nibbled and moaned happily. She started kissing his face with tiny bird-like pecks that were almost hard enough to be painful.


"Sorry, I got a little over exited," she said, but she was smiling broadly and Lex couldn't miss that her pupils were dilated, turning her blue eyes almost black. "But you didn't stop me."

She started again, this time going straight to the lips, introducing Lex to her tongue. She kissed like someone who'd kissed quite a few boys since high school. She kissed like someone who'd dreamed of this for a very long time. She kissed with such enthusiasm and skill Lex couldn't resist reaching back, holding her shoulders and drawing her closer. She ground her hips against him as she fed him her tongue. She grabbed his right hand and held it to her chest. 

Lex had been trying to remember her as the mixed-up teenager she'd been last time he'd seen her, but it had been hard not to notice she wore no bra, and her small, peach-sized breasts bounced with ever move she made. He rubbed her breast through her black shirt, the cheap black satin doing nothing to hide the hardening nipple beneath his fingers.

"Amy, stop for a moment," he pulled away; she tried to follow, her eyes half-closed. "You're moving too fast. I haven't seen you in years! We should-"

"Do you know what we should do, Lex?" She didn't make it a question; she just put both hands down and started to undo his belt. 

"Wait, Amy, this isn't-"

"I know you like sophisticated women, Lex. Well, perhaps not Victoria - I still think she was a tramp - but usually you like classy, elegant women. I'm not, I never have been. I'm just the housekeeper's daughter, law degree or not. But you know what I can do, Lex?"

"What?" He was almost afraid to ask.

She grabbed his pants and underwear and both hands and yanked them down to his mid thigh in one rough move, falling to her knees at the same time. "I can suck a ping pong ball through a drinking straw."

He was already half hard from the kissing, and she took quick advantage, licking the underside of his cock from base to tip, using her lips to nibble delicately around the crown. 

There were things he should say. There was a diamond protocol before a woman got down on her knees. They'd only just met again a few minutes ago. This was happening too fast and would all blow up in Lex's face, he just knew it. There would be hell to pay, but she was squeezing his balls, just to the point of pain and swallowing him down like she was getting paid for it. 

She took him all the way, something so few women had ever been able to do, and moaned with genuine enjoyment, her nose pressed to his belly. She growled deep in her throat like a dog with a bone and shook her head just a little. It was almost like a small threat, his dick so close to her teeth, and it excited him into rock hardness. 

Her growl turned into a laugh as he started to chant, "Oh, god, oh, god," and he felt the vibrations through to the root of his cock. She was pulling off and lunging down with strength and confidence, her eyes closing down with the pleasure of what she was doing. Lex had had plenty of women, and men, go down on him like this, professionals who knew just what noises to make, what moves would feel good, but her pleasure was genuine, and he'd never seen that before. She opened her eyes again, looking up at him, blue eyes hazy but trying to take in his face, as if she was fixing his open-mouthed gasps of pleasure in her memory. 

"Amy… Amy…" he whispered, trying to warn her he was getting close as his hips thrust to meet her lunges. Her lips would be bruised at this rate.

She pulled off with a loud pop and made sure to hold his gaze as she sucked one finger into her mouth, getting it good and wet. "This is going up your ass, Lex," she told him, then reached behind his balls and started to push in. It hurt, just a tiny bit, in a way he'd always loved.

She took him in her mouth again, deep and strong, lots of tongue, drool on her chin. It was wet and hot and her finger unerringly found its goal, rubbing him from the inside, pressing his prostate until he couldn't hold back a yell. He put both hands over his mouth to block his noise and stop himself pushing her head down even harder and choking her, which he'd always thought was terrible blow job etiquette. 

He looked down again, her eyes were half-closed, focussed on his stomach, but she'd hitched up her skirt and the hand that wasn't fucking him she was using to finger herself. He couldn't see anything, but her hand was busy and she was moaning enthusiastically, her hips grinding as she excited herself and Lex at the same time.

He felt her start to shudder; she was coming while sucking him. He'd never had anyone do that before. He could feel her shakes through her mouth and his cock, and her moans turned into little choked cries, her eyes squeezed shut, and he watched her orgasm. As she lost control it was the only time she choked, gagging just a little, but refusing to pull off. She snorted through her nose and used her now free hand, sticky with her own juices, to rub Lex's balls in time with the finger that fucked him from behind.

"Oh, Jesus… Fuck," Lex groaned, and gave in, grabbing her head and forcing his way as deep as he could go. He could swear he blacked out, just for a second, as he came down her throat. She swallowed once, then pulled off sharply, letting two jets of come hit her face and lips, then took him in again. Less deep now, just tonguing the head of his cock as he finished his climax. She kept on licking and sucking, more gently now, until he shifted in discomfort, and she let him go, sliding her finger out carefully.

His knees started to give way and she grabbed his hips, pulling him down on the floor with her so that his legs sprawled either side, cock still wet and hanging out of his pants. He handed her his handkerchief first.

"I've wanted to do that for a very long time," she said, sounding smug and content.

"You've had a lot of practice," Lex was pleased his voice didn't sound jealous or judgemental, because he really did mean it as a compliment.

She looked up at him, big blue eyes still so young. She would have looked quite innocent if droplets of come hadn't still decorated her mouth like scattered pearls. 

"Did you know that your en suite bathroom used to back onto an unused linen closet in the old manor?" she asked.

"No, I didn't. Why?"

"So you never found the holes I drilled?"

"Amy!" he was scandalised. It took a lot to scandalise Lex Luthor. "You were fifteen!"

"I used to wait until I heard you showering and watch you. I used to fantasise about sneaking into your bathroom with you. I wouldn't get undressed, I'd just get into the shower with you and get on my knees and you'd keep soaping away like I wasn't even there. You'd use my mouth like that was my job. My mother was there to wash your sheets, but my job was to suck your cock. Maybe you'd put your hand on the back of my head while you fucked my face hard and really forced it in, but you wouldn't look down or acknowledge me, you'd just take what was yours, then get out and dry off and leave."

"I don't know what to say, Amy." A man his age wasn't meant to know about the socially unacceptable sex fantasies of fifteen year old girls.

"Yeah, I know. I was a pretty messed up kid. I used to read dad's Playboys before he left us. Actually, mum threw him out because he used to leave his porn lying around where us kids would find it. The rest of the time, I used to think about how all the kids at school who used to treat me like dirt because I was just the help's kid would be sooooo jealous when I was dating Lex Luthor. In my day dreams you'd treat me like a princess. At night, though, you would always treat me like a whore."

Lex didn't know what to say. He'd never realised quite how raw her feelings had been.

"Have I shocked you, Lex? I probably shouldn't have said that. I mean, we're not close, we're not friends. I'm just the child of someone who used to work for you. I shouldn't tell you things like that, I know."

"Amy, I… I never realised…"

"Of course you didn't. Like you said, I was fifteen. If you'd actually made a move on me then I would probably have fainted! Every time you as much as smiled at me I'd float on air for days. You were my Prince Charming and my Bete Noire all in one. It's been years and I'm all grown up now, and I've spent many hours on my knees learning how to please a man. I like sex. I really like sex. I used to watch how uninhibited you were, so hedonistic, and I thought I would be just the same. But every time I would be with a guy, I'd close my eyes and see you. 

"I know you don't love me, Lex. You don't even really know me. You probably just came here as a pity move or out of some kind of misplaced nostalgia, but I had to take the opportunity."

"Amy," Lex thought about what she'd said, that he didn't love her, which was true. But she'd just sucked his cock, so he felt obligated to at least be polite. What did he feel for her? Other than some awe at her skills. "Amy, of everyone I have ever known, everyone who's ever claimed to love me, you are the only one who was being truthful."

She smiled, and for a moment the smile looked a little tearful and watery. "Yeah," she said, and leaned in to his arms, her face pressed against his neck. He could feel her eye lashes flickering against his skin.

"I'd never hurt you. Not like all the others." She reached down and started stroking him again. Her fingertips were light, she knew he'd be over-sensitive still, but she was gently easing him in to hardness again.

"I know, but I'm not sure what you think is going to happen here."

"A little more fantasy fulfilment, perhaps? Hey, Lex," she sat up, and smiled a little firmer. "Come back to my dorm room? We can catch up on old times. Without the beatings and concussion, I promise." 

He laughed and stood, putting out a hand to help her to her feet. He put himself away and they tidied themselves up. She finally used the handkerchief to clean her face then offered it back to him. He politely declined.

"Don't you have a date with your friends?"

"Nah. I see them every day. I haven't seen you in years and who knows when I'll see you in the flesh again? Come on, we'll order pizza. I'll even pay for it!" 

"You'll pay!" He held a hand to his chest in dramatic over-blown shock, playing for laughs to break the tension. "No one ever offers to pay for Lex Luthor!"

She laughed, her silly giggly laugh that hadn't changed over the years, "I have this rich benefactor, you see! He pays for all my education so I have plenty of money left over from what my mom sends me to pay for pizza!"

"A rich benefactor, hmm!" Lex played along. "And how did you manage that?"

"Oh, by being cute," she fluttered her eyelashes shamelessly. "And I just have to suck his cock every now and then to pay for it."

Lex laughed, letting her link their arms together as she walked them back to her room. "You don’t have to, you know. You never have to do that to make a guy like you."

"Lex," she scolded, "I'm not still fifteen. I know that perfectly well. I have had all those after school specials about girls and self-esteem. I suck cock because I like it. I like the weight of it and the feel of it and the smell of it. I love knowing I can make a guy do whatever I want, have him totally in my control. It's a power thing. You understand?"

Lex thought that it was different from a guy's point of view, a guy always thought he was in control when he was doing that to a woman, but then again, he'd never argued with anyone who had their teeth that close to his equipment. 

"I didn't come here for this, you know."

"I know. If you're feeling guilty, Lex, just tell yourself that I forced myself on you. I kind of did, after all."

"Not even for a second, Amy."

She showed him how to sneak past the security desk and smuggled him into her room. It was easy as her room was first floor, just down the corridor and she obviously knew the routine to get in and out with forbidden boys.

She grabbed Lex's mobile from his pants pocket, taking a lot longer to get it out than strictly necessary until they both laughed, and ordered the pizza. She didn't ask him what he wanted; she already knew all of his likes and dislikes. He sat on her bed, the only chair in the room was being used as a laundry basket, and she plunked herself down beside him, making the bed bounce a little.

The room was painted solid white, no art on the walls at all. No photographs of home, no posters of bands or Che or horses. Nothing to personalise the space. Just a lot of books and folders, all labelled and more or less neatly placed in piles and across every surface. She'd taken over the space that would have held a roommate as a spare closet with a bed covered in eclectic clothing styles which came down to a mix of hipster and opportunity shop. All of the folders were white, matching, and the only thing that she appeared to have taken care to keep neatly in order.

"Thanks for coming, Lex. I really didn't think you'd ever talk to me again after what happened in Smallville."

"I didn't understand what was really going on, Amy. I didn't realise it was your brother who was attacking Victoria and me."

"I think you would have sent me away, anyway, even if you'd known it was Jeff. I was devastated then, but when I look back now, I realise how awkward it would have been if I'd been allowed to stay."

"Maybe. No… you're right. It was better to send you away. Now you've had a chance to meet knew people and find yourself away from that enclosed situation. The shrine was a bit much."

"You're right," she turned to look at him, and her voice held no humour. "Who on earth makes a shrine like that to someone they're in love with? I mean, before you know it, I would have started building a whole room of souvenirs and keepsakes, with giant photographs of my obsession decorating the walls."

All the humour drained out of the room. Lex felt his blood run cold. He stared her down; there was no way she should know about that. No one should know about that.

"I had the master key, Lex. I watched that room take shape, right from the very first car and computer simulation. There wasn't anything you did that I didn't know about. And I knew how much you loved him. You loved him like I loved you. In fact, it was one of the things I loved about you, because I knew you'd understand obsession and unrequited love and all the crazy stuff it makes you do." She stared down at her boots as she spoke. "And you've never stopped loving him, have you?"

"Why do you say that?" Lex snapped, angry she'd suggest such a thing.

"Because I know you. I watched you for years when I was growing up. You wouldn't know how to stop loving someone once you started. It's like… it's like they worm their way inside, isn't it. Everything about them, no matter if it's bad or wrong or they do stupid things or they hurt you. You still feel it inside, a giant burning ball of pain because you know they'll never love you back and yet you can't let it go."

"I don't love him. I think you've misunderstood my interest."

"You love him. You hate him, too, I know. But mostly you love him. You spy on him and you keep storage facilities full of stuff that you think will help you understand him but you know he'll never love you back and you just get all weird and twisted about it."

Every word she said hit like its target like an arrow, but he couldn't tell her she had it wrong. "Amy. This is none of your business."

This whole visit had been a mistake and he'd known it before he'd come. He'd let himself get carried away by her genuine emotion. He stood up to leave but she reached out to grab his hand. "I'm not trying to hurt you, Lex. I'm just saying I understand. Don't go. You may as well stay and help me eat the pizza, right?"

"I have to go. I shouldn't have come here." She was just as obsessed with him as he'd always been and he had probably tormented her by coming here. It had been cruel and self-indulgent and he'd got what he had coming.

He opened the door and a young man in a Pappa Nick's uniform was fumbling in his bag, "Hey, Amy, here's your oh hi…" He trailed off when he saw Lex.

"Just a minute," Lex reached for his wallet. The least he could do is pay for the pizza, but Amy reached over his shoulder and handed the guy a twenty, grabbed the pizza and closed the door shouting, "Thanks, Andy!"

"Come on, you may as well eat some pizza now that it's here."

He felt raw and angry and foolish. Only his father and Clark had ever made him feel so naked but as he watched her set out a plate and a Frisbee and a box of tissues to use for napkins, he knew she hadn't done it to hurt him or to benefit herself, as they had done. She's just been trying to justify her own strangeness. Her face was pinched and unhappy now, although she gave him a strained smile as she showed him the Frisbee.

"I only have one plate. Do you want the plate or the Frisbee? The Frisbee has Winnie the Pooh on it!"

If it had been Clark, if it had been years ago when they'd first met, he would have taken the Frisbee with grace and a laugh, but he wasn't in the same place any more. "The plate will be just fine, Amy."

"Cool," she passed him the plate with a slice and opened the bottom drawer of her desk. It hid a mini-fridge. "Coke? Rootbeer?"

"Do you have any water?"

"Yep," she handed him a bottle of some supermarket brand bottled water. They ate in uncomfortable silence for a while, but after her first slice she picked a second and started talking about her studies.

He hadn't studied law, but he could hold his own. He'd certainly had enough legal issues to have learned a great deal about court machinations, enough to make conversation. 

"I was thinking of going into corporate law," she continued. "With my voice, I can lull people into a false sense of security. No one takes me seriously, so they never see the knife coming. I'm a lot tougher than most people realise, you know."

Lex smiled, wiping the grease off his hands on a handful of tissues. "I think everyone from Smallville is pretty tough."

"Smallville is a trial by fire. We all come out a bit stronger, a bit stranger, than everyone else."

"Amy, why are most of your folders all labelled by individual subject, but all of those on this shelf just labelled 'Law'?" Lex asked. "So many with the same label, no date or descriptor, doesn't it make it hard to find what you're looking for?"

She looked at the folders, her face smoothed into blankness. "Do you know what the Latin word for law is, Lex?"

"It's Lex. I've heard the jokes."

She didn't say anything more. Lex got up and grabbed one of the folders at random. 

Page after page of photographs of himself, mostly clipped from newspapers and magazines. Each slipped neatly into a plastic sheath. She'd made notes on a few of them, records of Lex's movements, her handwriting rounded. She dotted each i with a tiny love heart. 

"Are they all like this?" he asked. She had to have known he'd see them. She had to have wanted him to see them.

"Yes, all of them." Her voice was taut and strained.

"You've… you've been stalking me all this time?"

"No, I've had to take time to study. Spend time with Mom and Jeff. Sometimes I go out with my friends. I just use a few news clipping services to get the articles. I only spend one day a week, at the very most, tracking what you do. I almost never actually follow you around. I was always worried you'd recognise me."

"Why… After all these years, Amy. Why?" He should be angry, he knew, but all he felt was numb.

"You know what it's like. It never ends. That… need. Need to know. Need to be close. Do you know why I don't go into criminal law, Lex?"

He shook his head.

"It's not because I'm not tough enough, because I am. It's because I think they'd see me for what I am. Can you imagine if I came up on a stalker case? They'd see right through me. I've read all about stalkers. They never give up, not unless they find someone else to stalk and I never have."

Lex picked up another folder; this looked like it was from last year. She'd followed a lot of what had happened, his legal issues. She'd made notes on his defence – mostly on things she would have done better. He flicked backwards through folder to see she'd made notes on his mistakes, what he should have done, what he could have done better. 

"Sometimes I don't. Sometimes I try to stop. I even went to a therapist for a while. They gave me drugs that made my moods flat and my mind fuzzy. But I’m not crazy, that's the problem. I know full well that we are world's apart, Lex. I'm not on your level, not socially, and I'm not pretty enough to be noticed that way, either. I don't believe you're sending me special messages when you're interviewed on TV, I don't believe we were meant to be together. I don't have any illusions that you'll suddenly fall madly in love with me, that's not going to happen. I just want to be close to you."

"How long have you been planning this?"

"Planning what? I just sent you a letter to say thank you for the scholarship. When you showed up today, I had no idea you'd be there. I just took my chance. And it doesn't matter what you do now. You can call the police, it won't matter. Nothing I have here isn't publicly available to anyone who can buy a magazine. Anything that's not is under lock and key in places you'll never find. I've done you no harm, the sex was consensual, you came here of your own free will. Yes, I took hold of an opportunity, but I didn't take advantage of you. You already knew what I felt."

"Your letter, you gave me no impression you were still this obsessed."

"Did the letter, at any point, say I'd stopped loving you?"

Lex looked down at the file. He picked another one. It was about five years old. There were photos of Clark and him together. Some were by the paparazzi, he'd seen them already. He had them in his own collection, although his were the originals, 8 x 10 glossies, and hers were magazine clippings. 

He sat on the bed again. Amy's uneaten pizza crust rolled off her Frisbee and came to rest against his thigh. He ignored it. She reached over, and made to touch one of the photos, drawing her hand back when she noticed how greasy her fingers were. 

"I'm sorry it never worked out for you and Clark." She put her finger in her mouth, sucking off the grease.

"I seriously doubt that."

"No, I am. I only ever want for you to be happy, Lex. I really thought you and he would be best friends forever. But it all went so wrong between you."

"I don't want to talk about it, Amy. This is all private." 

She shrugged. "Not really. Just that most people either turn a blind eye or they don't let you know that they know. They won't look at you in the street, but they all buy the magazines and read the news and everyone thinks about you and what you do."

"They look at me in the street," Lex said dryly. He'd grown up under the weight of stranger's stares. 

"Is that why you don't go out so often anymore?"

He glared at her, but she just shrugged. "It's been harder to get nice candid shots. You frown a lot also. I like the photos when you were with Clark years ago, when you'd smile a lot. You used to look happy. Now you look so angry all the time. I wish I knew a way to make you happy."

Lex put the folder he was holding back in its place. The first one he'd pulled out teetered on the desk, page open to a shot of him crossing the road – the magazine caption said something about the coffee he was drinking, how it would become so fashionable now that he'd been seen drinking that shop brand. He was striding across the road, glaring at the car that had thrown on its brakes and blasted its horn when he'd refused to look left and right.

"How can you keep on loving me? Everyone who knows me, they say I'm evil or crazy, or just plain bad. What makes you so different, Amy?"

"Oh, Lex, I'm a stalker," she said ruefully. "We never give up. We never stop. Paparazzi are paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for a good photo, but eventually they retire, move on. Stalkers never do. You can take out a restraining order, notify your body guards, and burry yourself under 50 feet of dirt and lead, and I'd just wait patiently. I just want to be near you. And of course, after today, I'll probably be worse. Now that I know what it's really like to touch you and hold you. I wish I could bottle your smell."

She leaned closer, inhaling near his neck. "If I could make you into a perfume, I'd wear you on my skin every day."

He'd heard similar. Either from women who were lying because they wanted his money, or the occasional crazed fan who… wanted his money. 

"Why, Amy. I've had stalkers before, but…"

"They're probably attracted to your fame, or your infamy. There are richer people than you, so it's not that. Not for any of us. It's just the lure of the famous, the well respected. At least that's how it was for me."

"I know what started it, Amy, it was just that I treated you like an equal, or at least like an employee rather than an invisible servant. But… but all of this, Amy. Even I never obsessed like this."

She shrugged, a tiny frown on her face as she struggled for words. "I honestly can't really say, Lex. I mean… you obsess over Clark, and I bet if you had to say why you'd say it's because he's a mystery, right? Because he used to lie to you all the time, like he did to everyone at school, and you want to 'solve' it?" She finger quoted solve and Lex noted she still had pizza grease on her fingers.

"But there are better and bigger mysteries out there than Clark. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands. With your intelligence you could solve so many of them, but you're only interested in Clark. Face it, Lex, the mystery is just the excuse. You're fascinated with Clark because he liked you when you thought no one else did and because he just seemed so amazing to you. For me, the fame and everything else, that was just the excuse. Sure, you have all those great things going for you: you're sexy, good looking, incredibly smart. But, like, you were nice to me when no one else ever was."

"Amy, you had friends and family."

"My mom has always looked at me like there was something wrong with me," she suddenly grinned at Lex. "I'm not saying she's like Lionel, or anything like that. She loves me and she's never tried to kill me, but I know I disappoint her. Jeff is the only one who's ever really loved me. And then you were nice to me. You never treated me like dirt, or like furniture like your father did, and you didn't even tease me when you knew I was totally in love with you. You were always so nice."

It was on Lex's lips to say that he treated all of his staff like that and she shouldn't take it personally, but that would have been cruel. And he understood what she was saying too well to be cruel right now.

"I know it's a fantasy, Lex. You deserve the world. The smartest, most beautiful women should be your wife. I know you like smart women, and you keep dreaming that someday you'll find a woman as smart as you, tall and dark and strong, someone who'll give you smart babies. Or maybe you still fantasise about Clark, I don't know. But I have my dream, too."

"At least you're realistic. I keep marrying those smart, strong women and they keep trying to kill me. And I know full well Clark will never bow his head and accept me as I am. At least you don't keep throwing yourself into the fire over and again, Amy."

"I'm happy to… watch from a distance."


She looked at him askance, and then grinned. "All right, then yes, I'm happy to stalk. From a distance. And no matter what happens, we may not have Paris but we'll always have the storeroom off the campus auditorium!" 

They both laughed, a little forced, and she bumped their shoulders together. "So what happens now?"

"In the past, when this has happened, it's been because people have been stalking me for either journalistic reasons or they are looking for some way to extort money from me. I either take care of it privately or I have to get the police involved. The kind of threat I've faced from the majority of stalkers in my life is not something I've been able to take lightly."

She folded her hands in her lap, bowed her head, "So I'll be looking at that restraining order after all."

"No, I don't see any reason for that. This has been going on for a long time and you've never done anything threatening. You've obviously been either able to control Jeff or he's no longer interested in his vindictive behaviour, so this is obviously harmless. Nothing would have happened today, either, if I hadn't made the decision to come here."

"He won't hurt you. For my sake. He knows I couldn't stand it if you got hurt. All of that violence was just, you know, Smallville-crazy."

She wiped her hands on her bedspread and grabbed one of the folders, letting it fall open to an article describing a business deal Lex had orchestrated about eighteen months ago. "I won't give these up, Lex. I don't care if you get lawyers or detectives, I won't give them up. And if you send someone here to take them, I'll just start again. I'm not being mean or anything, it's just that you've been a part of my life since I was a teenager. This is how I keep you with me."

Lex thought of the old room in the manor. Now there was a huge laboratory in the basement of LexCorp. With posters and pictures and souvenirs and alien things in jars. A mystery to be solved that was honestly nothing more important than trying to discover why the only person who had ever befriended Lex Luthor had probably come from another planet. 

He reached up and tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear, blonde roots were showing, but the dark waves suited her better. She looked up at him, puzzled by his gentleness and he wondered how he would have reacted had Clark shown him kindness. 

If Clark had seen his obsession and reacted… differently. "I only sent you away because I thought you were destructive. The collection was disturbing, but I didn't understand it then. I do now. I know what it's like."

"Clark told you he never wanted to see you after he found your room."

"Do you have the manor bugged?" There was no way she could have known.

"Not any more. You kept finding them, and I didn't want to upset you that way."

Lex almost laughed. "You are as weirdly obsessive as my father."

"I am as weirdly obsessive as his son," she said, voice devoid of emotion. "I'm not saying I'm like you, just that we're coming from the same place."

"If Clark had understood…" Lex wasn't sure what he wanted to say. She knew too much already, but if she knew about his obsession with Clark, she almost certainly knew about the borderline illegal things he'd done as well. "If he'd reacted as…"

Maybe the words would leave him too vulnerable, so he leaned in and kissed her softly instead, just on the corner of her mouth.

"Lex?" she squeaked, eyes big.

"Maybe I do understand," he said, kissing her again, closed mouth. "Maybe I know how to take a compliment as it's intended, rather than attacking the complimenter." He took the folder from her hands and let it slide to the floor, and she immediately took his face in her hands, cupping it and kissing him with frantic little kisses until he took control and held their mouths together firmly.

She pulled away sharply and yanked her shirt off over her head. She'd reached back to unhook her bra before stopping to check with Lex. He nodded permission and she slid it off, dropped it to the floor. Once again she knelt between his legs, undoing his fly. He let her take his cock out and start sucking until he was hard, then cupped her chin and raised her face a little. "Together this time, yes?"

"Sure," she said, her eyes big like all of her Christmases had come at once. She zipped off her boots and he got a quick whiff of boot-feet, and started to unbutton his shirt as she took off her skirt. "No, wait, let me undress you?" she asked, standing there, too skinny and altogether too fragile in blue K-mart panties. Not quite granny panties but she obviously hadn't been expecting to seduce someone in those. He liked how innocent and young she seemed. She wasn't clever or manipulative or flirting, she wasn't playing any of the sultry games his other women always played, but sitting here and letting her take off his shirt like she was unwrapping a Christmas present, he could smell her arousal. She wanted him like no other woman had ever wanted him. Not for his money, not despite of the fact he was a freak, but because he'd been kind when she'd needed it.

Rising up on his hands he let her pull off his trousers, getting tangled around his shoes and laughing together as they struggled with the laces. He pulled down her underwear, too polite to point out she was still a natural blonde, and laughed again as she shoved him back on the bed and clambered on top of him.

"Lex, you're so beautiful…" she said, her hands everywhere on his chest, his shoulders, lightly pinching his nipples. He wondered if she'd ever found a way to watch him fuck, and knew that she'd be doing everything he liked if she had. She seemed unfocussed though, her hands wandering frantically as if she had to touch everything she could before he changed his mind. She kissed his face with frantic little pecks that bordered on uncomfortable, and he could feel the heat and wetness of her arousal when he slid a thigh between her legs. 

Grabbing her wrists he pulled her up until they were both laying the right way on the bed, feet no longer on the floor. Her breasts jiggled pleasantly and he cupped one, pushing it up so he could mouth the nipple while she stroked his head, neck, shoulders with restless hands. He could fit almost her entire breast in his mouth, like a soft little vanilla pudding, and she was making noises as if she could come just from this. 

Moving to the other breast he looked up and her eyes were fixed on his face again, a pink flush to her cheeks, pupils dilated, mouth open and panting. She was as aroused as if he'd been teasing her for hours, but as he took her other breast in his mouth it occurred to him that in a way, he had been teasing her for years.

Were there condoms? Did she have condoms? He knew he should ask, but he didn't, and she didn't offer and he didn't want to examine his motivations for not asking and he knew all too well why she didn't offer. 

Lionel would have killed him. For being so careless. Not for fucking 'the help' because Lionel had always been a big fan of screwing over the less powerful, but not using a condom? That would have brought down some ego destroying lectures upon Lex's head. But not even when she shoved him back on the mattress with her hands firmly on his chest and straddled him did he ask. 

Unprotected sex; rare, precious, dangerous. Supposedly only between a couple in love, or, more rarely, a couple 'in trust'. And he was pushing up, fucking like an animal, fucking the woman who had stalked him relentlessly for years. At least this time he knew outright he was doing something stupid. She hadn't tricked him like Helen, or drugged him like Desiree, and she wasn't trying to pretend he was Clark, as Lana had done. She was just staring down into his face like he was her last meal on the night of her execution, the reincarnation of Jesus, and the last ten Christmases of her life all at once. 

Inside she was pure heat, spongy, wet, and tight, and she used her body like it had been created for his pleasure. Groaning he shoved himself up into that irresistible heat, working in counterpoint to her rhythm as she rode him, he stroked her back and sides, slid his fingers from her breasts down over her prominent ribs. 

Her nails were not long enough to scratch as she stroked his chest in return and he wondered if she'd grow them if he asked. She would, he knew. She'd do anything he asked. She'd grow her hair longer, get good manicures, learn to wear nicer clothes, elegantly heeled shoes. She'd learn how to speak like a lawyer, like a Luthor, anything that would please him. He could change her and mould her, and she would love every minute of it. Instead of fighting his control, she would revel in it, happy to be anything he asked.

Her rhythm was getting faster and she was pushing down hard, trying to take him inside, like she wanted to swallow him whole. Panting, never breaking eye contact with him, her oddly almost-pretty face squished up in concentration as she tried not to close her eyes in pleasure. The staring made him uncomfortable, every partner he'd ever had had closed their eyes at some point, looked away, come with mouth open but eyes shut as, he was sure, they pretended he was someone else, someone normal.

He was getting close himself, had to break eye contact, watched her breasts bounce as she ground her hips down. He grabbed her hips, pumping up, feeling the sweat start to sting his eyes and inhaling deeply. He could smell her, smell his own arousal, hear the cheap dorm bed groan under their weight. "I'm coming…" he groaned, giving her one last warning if she wanted to pull off, but she just started chanting: "Wait, wait, wait…", until he slid a thumb down to press into her clitoris, the hot little button hard and wet, and her movements went wild. 

The contractions were enough for him and he came inside her, the novelty of raw flesh without rubber, the suction and heat, and her desperate gaze sent him over, he couldn't help his own shout as he went up and over, letting all the tension and anger of the last few day pour out into her.

She rode out her own climax holding his hand hard against her cunt, finishing only seconds behind him, coming like it was her first ever climax, a tiny surprised little 'oh' and whimpering. She squeaked out a few cute little noises she didn't try to stifle, still staring at him the whole time. He was getting too sensitive by the time she finally finished, and was more comfortable when she pulled off. One arm slung out to pull her to his side left her happy and snuggling, head on his shoulder, one hand still stroking his chest and stomach. 

"I feel like I'm in a fairy tale," she whispered.

"I'm no Prince Charming."

"Prince Charming was boring."

He laughed softly, still catching his breath. "So, you like the bad boys, then, Amy?"

"No. Bad boys are a cliché. You're not bad."

"Just misunderstood?" he joked, voice snide.

"Yes." She was quite serious in return. 

"But you understand me, of course." He didn't try to hide the sarcasm in his voice. "We have already established that, but you-"

"I have planted tracking software in the computers of nearly everyone who's ever acted against you. I've followed things that have been written by Chloe Sullivan and Lois Lane and Clark Kent. I follow your business deals, Oliver Queen's attempts to undermine LexCorp, Wayne Enterprise's attempts to steal your robotics patents. I've read the files on your experiments on mutants on Level 33.1 and I know not only what you did but why you did it. I think I have a better overview on your life and your motivations than anyone else, maybe even you."

He pulled away to try to catch her eye, but she was pretty firmly attached to his shoulder. "Amy, I feel that I should be concerned about this." He was amazed at how level he'd managed to keep his voice.

"No. I don't bug your computers, only theirs. I sent you the heads-up about the robotics patents, but mostly I just leave you alone. I figure you're smart enough to work things out on your own. I just like to watch. But if you want to know what they are doing at any time, I can get you all the inside information you want. It was just to make sure that they never hurt you too badly, you know?"

"That could be very useful, I admit. You've been watching them for a long time?"


"And they've never noticed?"

"Nope. And I know a lot about all of them. I know they've worked against you and I know their secrets."

"Very useful."

"Anything you want, Lex."

"I know." Lex thought about the carrots she was dangling in front of him and how far she might try to make him leap to get hold of them. "I'm going to sleep for a little while."

"I'll be here when you wake up." She pulled away, as if knowing he didn’t like to be held in his sleep - and she probably did know that, too - but he knew she was going to watch him the entire time. It was creepy, but at least it was honest.


Lex stood in his office, frozen in place as he listened for the intruder, trying to appear nonchalant. Papers on his desk had been moved, someone had gone through his files, and he knew it wasn't Amy. In the few months she'd been living in his Penthouse, they'd gone over some solid rules for what she was, and wasn't allowed to touch, read, watch, lick, or souvenir. 

Whenever Lex was missing a pair of cufflinks or some odd knick-knack or tchatchke, he knew it would end up in Amy's room. He'd go to retrieve it and find it stashed with underwear he hadn't noticed was missing. Neither of them minded the silly game. 

Lex knew the difference between Amy's playful investigations and someone who shouldn't be here sneaking and touching his things.

The disturbed papers dealt with a hybrid clone he'd been working on: part alien, part mutant. This time he'd designed it with enough LexCorp brand cybernetics to ensure he'd be fully able to control its actions. A simple biological on/off switch to make sure this creation wouldn't turn on him. The entire project was not actually illegal, although that was simply because he was technologically ahead of the law. As soon as the law caught up with him, they would be making laws against him. They always seemed to be running full tilt against his every useful invention and design. And now someone had rifled through the papers, probably stealing them, probably to use them against him.

Lex could smell the Green Arrow. He wore a popular cologne that reminded Lex unpleasantly of his childhood. Lex didn't turn around. Showing his back to the enemy displayed an arrogance and contempt for his enemy's threat – Lex and his father had spent a lot of time threatening each other back-to-back – and this was utterly apropos for dealing with the contemptible Green Arrow's numerous failed murder attempts.

Lex looked up to see the light blinking on his security camera. Amy may be watching him on the monitors now that he'd shown her where the monitoring stations were, and hopefully she had called security. Now all he could do to play for time until she noticed. 

"Whatever you have planned, Green Arrow, you know you won't get away with it."

It was an old, worn out cliché, but it had served heroes well throughout the years. Because Lex knew he was the hero. At least in his own office. At least in Amy's eyes.

"What the hell is that, Luthor?" Green Arrow gestured with his chin towards the papers on Lex's desk. "Some sort of slave… thing?"

"Not at all. Simply the natural progression of my ongoing studies. Oh, and I'm sure the police are on their way. You have triggered the intruder alarms, I'm sure they'll be happy to catch such a highly sought after criminal."

"I am not the criminal here, Luthor!"

"In the eyes of the law, you are one of America's most wanted. I, on the other hand, am a well respected, tax paying citizen."

"You say taxes, I say bribes."

Lex's office door opened and he made a sharp movement to distract The Green Arrow, but no one had come to Lex's rescue. He made a move towards his desk, where he knew there was a nice loaded gun, but The Green Arrow's bow tracked his movements, and creaked ominously as the string was pulled back. 

"I don’t know what you're planning, Luthor, some kind of slave race, but it's going to end here, tonight."

"How many times have you tried to murder me so far?"

"This is not a murder, this is an execution. And you've had it coming for a very long time. The whole world will thank-"

The Green Arrow stopped his pompous bragging and relaxed his hold on his bow, letting it go slack. He looked down, mouth open in shock, at the end of a sword blade protruding from his chest. "I…" he said, and then looked back up at Lex. "When did that happen?"

Lex looked around the room but could see nothing. The body of his enemy hit the floor hard, face down, the sword being pushed out of his back a few inches by the force of the fall. Lex could swear he heard the pattering of bare feet on wooden floors, but he could see nothing. 

He dialled security and waited for them, pouring himself a scotch while they ran to answer his summons. Security checked the room and collected the tapes and had the police there in minutes. When the police arrived Lex was ensconced insouciant upon the couch while Green Arrow continued to annoy him by ruining his carpet.

The security tapes proved Lex's innocence and he was happy to release the copies for their study. He had no idea what had happened, but posited a theory that possibly one of the Arrow's own weapons had backfired. Some kind of arrow propelled sword in his quiver? The angle of penetration proved it impossible, but he shrugged as they watched the tapes on his own TV – they could see everything he could. The man had threatened Lex, and then died with a sword in his back. Lex's innocence was inviolate, and that was all that mattered.

It took all of Lex's reserve not to react when the Green Arrow's corpse was unmasked, but he confirmed he knew the criminal and that the attack was personal. He told them it dated back to a school days grudge, a stupid childish thing that Queen had never been able to get over. Stupid, pointless, such a waste of life, he agreed. 

He collapsed onto the couch, hands over his face, giving the appearance of distress. One of the officers placed a comforting hand on his shoulder and commiserated, "It must be hard knowing he could get into your home. But you're safe now." Lex nodded, afraid that if he spoke, he'd laugh.

Amy rushed in just then, hair wet, face pink from the shower, wrapped up in a big fluffy robe. He stood to collect her as she rushed into his arms, hugging him hard. "Oh, Lex, I was so scared! I heard the noise! Are you all right?"

Holding her close, he could smell the strong scent of roses, and he buried his face in her wet hair, inhaling deeply. They sat for a while, watching the detectives, until she pulled a white stick out of her pocket and handed it to him. "Lex, I can't wait anymore, I have to show you. It's blue!"

Her smile was broad and bright and partly a real smile of joy and partly a smile to distract the police. She was creating a happy little scenario of family and sympathy, a nice distraction from what had happened. Lex's hand shook, just a little, as he looked at the little blue lines that meant positive. 

A police officer smiled at them and said, "Congratulations, Mr Luthor!" 

She giggled, coquettish, not at all bothered not to have been included in the congratulations. The police would question her soon and find out she wasn’t the latest Mrs Luthor. Not yet. He pulled her robe closed, trying to hide the patch on the inside of her thigh that she'd missed in the shower, the patch where you could see right through her leg to the couch underneath. Catching on, she rubbed the cream onto the robe discreetly. "He was trying to hurt you," she whispered. 

"He had it coming," Lex said, even though she needed no reassurance.

Nodding, she agreed. "For a long time."

Lex held her a little closer, pressing his face against her hair, inhaling the lingering rose-scented traces of her brother's invisible ink. 

He didn't love her and he knew she knew that and accepted it. She also understood and accepted that he would never love her the way he loved Clark. But he would also never hate her the way he hated Clark. 

With Amy, there would never be that kind of obsession and passion, at least not from him. But he liked her well enough. With luck they could have a long time together, maybe he'd come to love her in time. He knew he would love their child, and maybe he'd love her through the baby. But even if he never did, she would always understand.


Answers the challenge Oliver Queen Must Die.

Author notes: I'm aware that stalking is a serious issue, the intention here is not to disregard the danger. . I had my own stalker problem when I was younger. But this is fanfiction, it's not intended to educate, merely entertain. How would I feel if I found someone had made a shrine to me like Lex did to Clark or Amy did to Lex? Super fucking creeped out, to be honest. But I thought Amy really was the only person who ever truly loved Lex and there is no one else who needs to be loved as desperately as Lex Luthor.

I think that, in future, they will get married in Vegas by a Spock Impersonator, because Amy does not want a repeat of all those crazy marriages of Lex's. Lex will tolerate this and hire a local sci fi con at great to make out the guests. Mostly Klingons. 

Also, they will spend a lot of time enjoying pegging. Amy will peg Lex with a huge strap on while wearing a Superman mask and lecturing him sternly.

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