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The Lochdubhies!


Episode 101 - The Great Lochdubh Salt Robbery

(Screened on ABC Sunday 23rd June 1996)
Police constable Hamish Macbeth is baffled by two apparently unrelated mysteries: a huge quantity of table salt has been stolen from Rory Campbell's general store; and Geordie Robb, a local bully, is missing. Hamish outwits his superiors when he makes a connection between the two mysteries.
Lachie:       "We are entrpeneurs, Lachie Junior, what care we for 
              the EEC?"

Barney:       "The wheels of commerce never stop turning, Hamish."

TVJohn:       "I'll go and get yer that wee message."
Barney:       "Two wee messages."

Lachie Jr:    "I'm not walking into a shop asking for women's tights.
              What would people think?  What sick images would flash 
              through their brains?"  

Alice:        "...and Whiskey Bob, he's a good man when he's sober,
              Hamish, but that's a rarer sight than Halley's Comet."

Lachie:       "Is it no wonder that I'm proud of that boy?  Eh?  Now 
              that's nimble thinkin' now. To deduce that it must have 
              taken more than one man to shift all that salt, that is 
              quick thinkin'."
Hamish:       "Yeah there coulda been three, Lachlan, maybe even four."
Lachie:       "Now I think you're just nitpicking there, Hamish, y'know.
              I mean, he just made an observation.  You don't expect 
              him to solve the whole case, do you?"

Alex:         "I told Peter the car was probably damaged by some 
              envious adolescent."
Hamish:       "Envious and persistent, it would seem."
Major:        "What do you mean?"
Hamish:       "Well, he's went and smashed the other light.  Happened 
              to notice it on the way in."

Lachie Jr:    "The Devil's Hump?  Nobody drives over there.  You can 
              barely get three sheep walkin' abreast on that road."

TVJohn:       "Listen here now.  Now, the big boys from Inverness are 
              coming.  Hamish says no  takin' the piss and no dumb 
              country yokel arts, right?"

Lachie:       "Aye I remember when you managed to get your aerial up 

Barney:       "Whiskey, Whiskey?"
Whiskey Bob:  "Whiskeeeeeey."
Barney:       "Whiskey for Whiskey."

Lachie Jr:    "You never said we'd grow breasts!  I'm still a young 
Lachie:       "Aye well if it happens you might not mind asking for 

Major:        "Isn't that my houseguest?  He's not dead is he?"
TVJohn:       "No, no, he was bobbing when he should have been weaving."

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Last Update: 21 January, 1997