Lachie: "We are entrpeneurs, Lachie Junior, what care we for the EEC?" Barney: "The wheels of commerce never stop turning, Hamish." TVJohn: "I'll go and get yer that wee message." Barney: "Two wee messages." Lachie Jr: "I'm not walking into a shop asking for women's tights. What would people think? What sick images would flash through their brains?" Alice: "...and Whiskey Bob, he's a good man when he's sober, Hamish, but that's a rarer sight than Halley's Comet." Lachie: "Is it no wonder that I'm proud of that boy? Eh? Now that's nimble thinkin' now. To deduce that it must have taken more than one man to shift all that salt, that is quick thinkin'." Hamish: "Yeah there coulda been three, Lachlan, maybe even four." Lachie: "Now I think you're just nitpicking there, Hamish, y'know. I mean, he just made an observation. You don't expect him to solve the whole case, do you?" Alex: "I told Peter the car was probably damaged by some envious adolescent." Hamish: "Envious and persistent, it would seem." Major: "What do you mean?" Hamish: "Well, he's went and smashed the other light. Happened to notice it on the way in." Lachie Jr: "The Devil's Hump? Nobody drives over there. You can barely get three sheep walkin' abreast on that road." TVJohn: "Listen here now. Now, the big boys from Inverness are coming. Hamish says no takin' the piss and no dumb country yokel arts, right?" Lachie: "Aye I remember when you managed to get your aerial up TVJohn." Barney: "Whiskey, Whiskey?" Whiskey Bob: "Whiskeeeeeey." Barney: "Whiskey for Whiskey." Lachie Jr: "You never said we'd grow breasts! I'm still a young man!" Lachie: "Aye well if it happens you might not mind asking for tights." Major: "Isn't that my houseguest? He's not dead is he?" TVJohn: "No, no, he was bobbing when he should have been weaving."
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